The Rite of Atonement
by Beccator
Summary: Cullen goes from mage murderer to Knight Captain to eventually leaving the Templars in a struggle to atone for his actions, somehow getting Bethany to fall in love with him along the way. Follows DA2 and my imaginings of what happened after.
1. Chapter 1

1.

Knight Commander Greagoir rubbed his tired eyes roughly with the back of his battle weathered hand. The Hero of Ferelden had redeemed the circle, saving the unnecessary slaughter of the mages under his care. His relief had been palpable when he had seen First Enchanter Irving emerge from the bloodied halls, pronouncing that Uldred and his evil ways had been vanquished. He had happily allowed Irving and the circle mages assist the heroic grey warden and her companions to defeat the archdemon, forcing the darkspawn back to the Deep Roads. Just as he thought the troubles were over the grey warden had asked for her boon from their new King. Her being a mage herself, she had asked for the one thing she had craved before being set free, freedom for the mages. No more being controlled by the Chantry, no more being watched over by Templars. Mages all over Thedas had rejoiced, seeing this as the first step to their chains being removed.

The reaction from the Templars had been mixed. Some had privately agreed with the decision, not seeing the mages as the threat they were portrayed as. Others had been frustrated by the King's apparent naivety, whispers abounded that he was soft on mages due to his affair with the Hero. Others had been outraged, treasonous mutterings and threats of violence echoed through the now mostly empty circle walls. But, there was one young Templar who had reacted astoundingly. With the torture and murder of his comrades fresh in his mind and heart he had set off on a killing spree. Murdering anyone he suspected of having the curse of magic. His broken mind believing that he was saving the world from an evil they had no understanding of. No-one but him could perceive the depravity of the type of people they were dealing with.

Greagoir sighed loudly, it was his task to bring the rogue Templar in and deal with him. He sent out patrols to follow up on any lead he could get his hands on. It didn't take long to locate Cullen. He had cut a bloody trail through Ferelden, leaving the Templars who tracked him the unenviable task of cleaning up his massacre. The men had heard of the unholy slaughter of a young mage in the village of Mantor. A tiny village that most people didn't even know existed. They were still reeling from the losses of the Darkspawn incursion and now had to deal with the loss of one of their most beloved youngsters.

The Templars tracked him to where he was hiding, swords drawn ready to strike down the man who had forced them to see things that they would never have imagined in their worst nightmares. One of the men shivered violently as he remembered the young man, cut from crotch to throat, his insides resting on the floor next to him. He became furious, remembering the grieving mother, who had lost the rest of her family to the 'spawn, sitting next to his cold rigid body, muttering and rocking, her mind gone.

They rounded the corner, shocked and uncertain by what they saw before them. A young man, his Templar regalia now stained with rusty brown splotches, holding his head in his hands sobbing wretchedly. He looked at his would be killers, his deep green eyes big and pleading. His voice came out dry and hoarse. "Kill me! If there is any love for the Maker in you, kill me now." His voice cracked and more gut wrenching sobs heaved out of him. The men looked at each other uncertain now of what to do. They had discussed their course of action before locating him and decided that his death was the only option. But seeing this broken, haunted man in front of them, their certainty wavered. Their leader spoke, after what seemed to be an interminable length of time. "We take him in." He said slowly, looking at the men under his command piercingly. They gave him no argument, gathering the broken man up, they took him back to the circle, relieved that their arduous quest was nearly at an end.

Greagoir had been shocked and dismayed at the appearance of one of his most promising recruits. His desperate pleas for a quick end had fallen on deaf ears and Cullen's hopes that Greagoir would put him out of his misery were unrequited. It had been the last killing that had finally snapped him out of his murderous vengeance. The terror in the young man's eyes had reminded him of the men that had fallen around him in Ferelden. The mother that had pleaded with him to spare her sons life, her words almost a reflection of the ones he had uttered to Uldred and his kind. Her pleas, just as his had been ignored, that was when he realised he had become more of a monster than the ones he was hunting. The realisation had made him see his actions with unshakeable clarity, reducing him to the sobbing, pitiful wreck that the men who had once been his friends had found.

He had begged Greagoir to put him to death, his request went unheeded. Instead he had been put in a holding cell, watched heavily to make sure he didn't take his own life. Greagoir needed some time to decide how to deal with him. At first Cullen had screamed at and goaded the men watching him, hoping that in their disgust they would finally lash out and give him the peace he craved. Instead their steadfast resolve to adhere to their orders won out and Cullen finally became silent using the time to reflect on his sins. He had fallen to his knees and asked the Maker to give him guidance.

Greagoir was doing much the same thing. During his meditations the answer had come to him. He would not have Cullen executed, that would be too easy. He needed to suffer for what he had done. There was no need for torture Cullen's own mind would provide that. The answer became clearer and clearer. He would send Cullen to Kirkwall, he would redeem himself in the eyes of the Maker, and Greagoir would be rid of the problem.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Cullen stood in the Gallows courtyard, reflecting again on his sins. He had arrived there, expecting the same cold and mistrustful stares he had received from the Templars in Ferelden. To his surprise he had been treated as somewhat of a hero. Killing apostate mages was considered a necessary even enjoyable task by some of the more zealous members of the order. Of course Greagoir had merely hinted at his crimes, wishing only for the problem to be gone. Cullen had prayed for forgiveness at every possible chance, using any spare time he had to visit the Chantry. He had long and involved talks with Grand Cleric Elthina, her guidance and compassion helping to still some of the guilt he carried with him. He refused to let all of the guilt go, wearing it wrapped around his heart as a talisman to keep him from doing anything so horrendous again.

His apparent piety and resolve had not gone unnoticed by Knight Commander Meredith and he had quickly risen through the ranks, securing the title of Knight Captain quickly. He had tried to reject it, feeling that he did not deserve such, but the steely gaze of Meredith had quieted his protestations, and he had accepted it with all the dignity he could muster. He decided that if he had to wear the title he would make sure his actions befitted it. He treated mages and their families with understanding and compassion, only using violence when absolutely necessary, preferring to send the younger recruits or hire outside help to secure mages who were hell bent on destruction.

It was during one of his vigils in the courtyard, that he noticed that young man Garrett Hawke. He was an accomplished duellist, who wore two sparkling daggers on his back with pride. Hawke had made quite the name for himself, working with the Red Iron mercenary band, and now it would seem he was trying to round up enough money to secure a place as partner on a Deep Roads expedition. Standing slightly behind the young man, was a startlingly beautiful woman, she had the same shiny black hair as her brother, but it fell in waves, framing a delicate and innocent face. He could feel an energy vibrating from her and sensed right away that she was a mage. He sighed heavily, if the stories he had heard about Hawke were true, he had no hope of bringing in his sister without a fight. His gaze held onto the apostate, taking in her beauty and grace, telling himself that he was only studying her so closely to ascertain the best way of taking her in. No answer came to him readily and unwilling to start a confrontation then and there he decided that it would be prudent to leave them be for now. He thought about sending a few recruits to bring her in, but not wanting to send the young men and women to their deaths, he took the easy option and pretended he didn't know.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

Soon, the young mage fell from his mind as other more serious problems came to the fore. His recruits were vanishing without a trace. Rumours of dark rituals, performed by Meredith spread through the order. Cullen knew he had to solve the mystery quickly before more recruits disappeared or others left, frightened of what might be done to them by their leader. To his relief one came back. Wilmod was quiet and withdrawn and refused to answer his questions as to where he had been. Suddenly one morning he had come to him, telling him he was taking some time out of Kirkwall to clear his head. Alarm bells went off in Cullen's head, he knew there was something sinister going on, but what it was eluded him. Ordering the silence of any Templar who knew of Wilmod's return and subsequent departure he had followed him, hoping to find out once and for all what was going on.

At first he had followed Wilmod, merely observing his behaviour, becoming more and more worried by how erratic he was. Striding purposefully, Wilmod's steps soon faltered and he began to mutter to himself, shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of some inner demon. Cullen didn't know just how close to the truth he was. It was when the young recruit stopped to rest that Cullen made his presence known. "Please Ser don't hit me" Wilmod pleaded. Cullen was planning on doing just that, the sound of his fist hitting Wilmod echoed around them. His questions again would not be answered and in desperation he drew his sword. "With the Maker as my witness, I will have the truth from you" he boomed threateningly at the terrified young man. Just then a group of four people rounded the corner, stopping in surprise at what they were witnessing. Hawke spoke up first "I thought you only treated mages this badly. It's good to see the Templars branching out" his tone betrayed the contempt he held the order in. "This is Templar business stranger" Cullen snapped, his temper beginning to flare. "Don't, it's the Knight Captain" Bethany's voice was tremulous with fear. Before either man could speak again, a foreign voice burst out of Wilmod. "Pathetic human, you will never strike me again, to me." To everyone's utter amazement Wilmod became an abomination and suddenly shades and demons broke through the fade, attacking everyone in a frenzy of blood. Hawke's daggers flashed as he darted around, slaying anything that got in his way. The sour elf pulsed with a blue light striking this way and that with his improbably big sword. Magic sizzled from Bethany's and the tall lanky mages staffs and hands. Cullen's sword was working just as hard, but he shuddered as he felt the surge of magic around him. Finally all the fade beings were forced back and Wilmod's mangled body lay on the ground, his blood mixing with the dirt turning it a clumpy rust colour. They were all shaking with the exertion of the battle. "I knew he was involved in something sinister, I knew it" Cullen exclaimed. "Did he turn into an abomination?" Hawke's face was a mask of shock. "I have heard of mages being able to force demons into unwilling hosts" Cullen answered with more than a hint of horror in his voice. "If you didn't know that he was possessed, why did you turn your sword on him?" Hawke queried. "If I were to get the truth, he had to believe my threats were genuine" Cullen answered tiredly, still not wanting to believe what he had just seen.

Bethany's mind wandered, the two men's voices drifted slowly from her consciousness as she gazed admiringly out towards the sea. She imagined what it would be like to be on the deck of a ship, instead of stuck down in the hold as they were on the way to Kirkwall. She imagined the wind whipping through her hair, the salty spray, tingling against her face. A small smile slid across her features, making her look even more innocent and beautiful than before. Cullen desperately tried not to notice her, refusing to become infatuated with another mage. Their voices drifted back as Bethany noticed the stern cold face of the Templar become flustered and embarrassed. "I had no luck interviewing the, ah… young ladies there." Her brother's face creased into a mischievous smile "the brothel? I'm prepared to go look there" he offered. Of course he is, Bethany thought wryly. He had already graced quite a few of the working girls beds. Cullen bid them farewell and trudged off to return to Kirkwall, leaving the foursome to wonder why he hadn't tried to apprehend either mage.

That was a question Cullen was asking himself. He had seen them use their magic, but had been unwilling to arrest either of them. Telling himself the reasons were twofold, one he needed their help and two he would not have stood a chance, alone, against the four of them. But deep in his heart he knew what the real reason was. Pushing the mages from his mind he went to report the disturbing development to Meredith.

The Knight Commander fixed Cullen with her steely gaze. "What of the apostates that travel with Hawke?" she asked her voice as cold as her eyes. Cullen tried to not visibly flinch as he answered "I thought it desirable not to anger the man, as he is helping us. Also, one of them does very good work in Darktown, healing the refugees. It eases some of the burden that falls to us." Meredith nodded slowly, recognising the wisdom of his words. "I see. Alright, we shall leave them be, for now." Cullen bowed slightly and took his leave from her office. He returned to the Gallows courtyard to wait for Hawke's findings.

As he waited, Cullen oversaw the perpetual clean-up of the dead bodies of gangs and thugs that Hawke and his motley crew seemed to leave behind in their wake. Eventually his patience paid off as he saw Hawke approach him. As ever he was accompanied, always seeming to have three companions in tow. "Do you want the good news, or the bad news?" The cocky young man asked. "What, what is it?" Cullen answered with a question. "Well the good news is Keran is safe." He motioned to the young man that Cullen had mentioned at Wilmod's camp. "The bad news is half your Templars may turn into abominations." Cullen's mind swam at the thought. "I always knew that mages were susceptible, but for it happen amongst our own" his voice trailed off. Bethany watched his face crease in concern and almost felt sorry for him. She stopped herself though he is a Templar she told herself, do not waste your pity on him. She looked on proud of her brother as he convinced Cullen that Keran was no threat, ensuring that he would be taken back into the order. Pity Keran was a Templar she had quite enjoyed seeing him with his shirt off. She shook her head, what was wrong with her? The poor boy had been terrified when they had released him from his magical torture chamber. It mattered not however, he was a Templar and she was an apostate mage. She wasn't prepared to risk her freedom over a passing fancy. She felt the usual rush of relief as they left the Gallows, she truly hated it there.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Bethany's footsteps padded quietly over the cobbled streets, she knew she was taking a risk going to visit Anders at his clinic this late at night, but she wanted to ask him to help her with her healing spells. Her father had been working on them with her before he died, but she wanted them to be more effective. If she was honest with herself, she would have admitted that it was not the only reason she was going to visit. She slipped through the door of the clinic, smiling as she saw Anders hunched over his desk, writing furiously, his brow furrowed with concentration. He jumped as she lightly touched his shoulder, unnerved that someone could just sneak up on him like that. His eyes flashed blue as an adrenaline surge pushed Justice to the forefront of his mind. Bethany stepped back quickly, cursing herself for not making her presence known. "I'm sorry Anders… um Justice…. sorry "she mumbled not sure who she should be addressing. "We are one Bethany" Anders smiled contritely at her. "It is I who should be apologizing to you." "No, no, I shouldn't have sneaked up on you like that" her words faltered, heartbroken that she may have upset him. He smiled again, some of his old flirtatious ways surfacing. "I am not used to having such attractive visitors." She flushed at his compliment, but was pleased by it none the less. He paused for a minute, his features becoming worried. "You should not be coming to Darktown by yourself at this hour. Maker, child, anything could have happened to you." She frowned at him "I am hardly a child Anders I have been of age for quite some time now." He smirked at her "so what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Anders asked, leaning casually against his desk. "I wanted to ask if you could help me with my healing spells. If you do I can come and help you here as payment." He shook his head. "You do not need to pay me for my help" he sounded slightly offended. Her face fell as she heard how her words had sounded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend". She sighed inwardly this visit was not working out how she had imagined it would. "Let us see" Anders said, "I called you a child and then you offered me payment for my tutoring, I think we're even now." He grinned cheekily at her and she giggled, relieved that he wasn't angry. "I would like to help here though" she said "once I am good enough of course." "I would never turn down an offer of help Maker knows I need all I can get." He cast his eyes around his clinic it was showing the signs of overuse. Some of the people he had helped would come in to clean as much as they could, but with disease running rampant it was hard to clean something that was constantly in use. He turned his attention back to her. "I will, of course, help you. Sometimes in battle I need healing, so it would be good to know that there is someone else there with those capabilities." So began their late night tutoring sessions.

Bethany shivered involuntarily as Anders' hand brushed past hers. He was trying to teach her the revival spell, and she was having trouble focusing enough to get there. She seemed only to be able to concentrate on the way the light made his hair glisten, and the smell that was distinctly his. She turned her head towards him as he sighed in frustration. "What is the matter with you tonight, child?" He asked surprised as she wasn't usually this flighty. His calling her a child again, created a surge of anger which welled up inside her and came flowing out. "I am not a child" she yelled in his surprised face, she turned on her heel and stomped out, very much mimicking the actions of a petulant child. He stared after her in amazement, what brought that on he wondered. Shrugging his shoulders he chased after her, unable to leave her to walk the dangerous streets alone. Catching up he placed his hand on her shoulder, only for her to throw a stunning spell into him, knocking him violently to the ground. "I'm sorry, oh Maker, I'm sorry I didn't know it was you." She cried out almost in tears. He shakily got to his feet and grinned ruefully, "my fault entirely, young lady, I should know better than to sneak up on a Hawke." He put emphasis on the words young lady. She took his hand peering anxiously up into his amber eyes "I didn't hurt you did I?" He shook his head "only my manly pride and I don't really have much of that left you know" he frowned down on her in mock anger. His free hand brushed a tendril of hair that had fallen across her face. Suddenly she seemed more of a woman than the child he usually saw her as. He found himself lowering his head, zeroing in on her full red lips. All of a sudden Justice burst into his mind, no she is but a child. He withdrew suddenly, taking a hurried step back. "I can see you have no trouble in defending yourself, but I will see you home" he said almost formally. He took her by the crook of her arm and hurried her home. Bethany was confused, she had been sure he was going to kiss her, but all of a sudden his eyes had emanated that horrible blue and he had backed away as if she had become a demon. Perhaps Justice wasn't the sharing type.

She slipped into her Uncle's hovel, making sure not to wake anyone. She stopped short, surprised to find Garrett sitting in a chair, staring accusingly at her. "No good can come of your infatuation with him you know?" She shrugged "I am sure I don't know what you mean." He shook his head, "come on Bethany, everyone but him knows how you feel. He is possessed, a warning of what can happen to a mage. You should see him only as a warning sign, not a potential suitor." She glared at her brother "perhaps he is more than a potential suitor" she snapped spitefully. Red infused Garrett's face "Maker if he has laid one hand on you, I swear, I will turn his shirt red. I... I will have Fenris rip his heart out" he blustered. She waved her hand impatiently at him "do not worry brother, he has not touched me, in fact other than as a childish student I am nothing to him" the last words came out on a sob, as she fled to the safety of her bed. Garrett stared after her, not happy that she was upset, but he couldn't deny the unmistakable relief he felt at her words. He liked Anders well enough, but the thought of him touching his sister made him want to do unspeakably horrible things to him.

Bethany laid on the hard mattress, trying to stem the tears that were flowing silently down her face. Any other time she would have found her brother's blustering amusing, but this time all she could do was try to still the ache in her heart, that came with unrequited love. Turning on her side she evened her breathing out as she heard Garrett come into the room they had to share, hoping he would believe her to be asleep. "Bethany?" he whispered, wanting to undo some of the hurt he had caused her. When he got no answer he lay on his own uncomfortable mattress, and worked on getting some sleep himself.

The foursome walked hurriedly over the now familiar trails along the Wounded Coast, Garrett had received a mysterious message, asking for him to help some mages who were in trouble. Bethany and Anders kept a good distance from each other. Bethany was still hurting from his rejection and Anders had been paid a visit by Garrett. It had not been pleasant. "You will not bring my sister home in the state she was in again" Garrett's usually charming tone had been replaced with protective anger. Anders had been stunned, "I had no idea she was upset" he had replied stiffly. Hawke's tone became even angrier "are you blind man? Even a nug humping dirt farmer could see how she feels about you." Anders glared at him, "would you like me to court your sister?" he had asked snarkily. "No" Garrett shouted. "Then what do you want from me?" Anders had shouted back, just as angrily. He started to glow, as he always did when he lost control of his temper. "Don't bother coming out to play Justice, my issue is not with you" Garrett shouted. "Let Anders deal with it for once." Justice had retreated, leaving Anders to defend himself. "If you must know, I nearly kissed her. But Justice reminded me that she is but a child, I retreated, brought her home. There is nothing between us and never will be." The last came out softly, regretfully. Garrett sighed "let her know, kindly then. She must be allowed to find someone else who… I mean, her own age" Garrett finished the sentence somewhat lamely. "You mean someone else who is not possessed?" Anders asked huffily. Garrett nodded in the affirmative. "I am sorry Anders, but she deserves a normal man, not one who may decide she has offended some ideal someday." They both knew the dangers Anders posed to others. Garrett was prepared to risk himself, but he would never risk his sister, not after they had already lost their brother fleeing from Lothering.

They walked on in the uncomfortable silence, Garrett tried to ignore it, but it was bothering the feisty pirate queen. She kept trying to talk to them, but only getting grunts and sighs as responses she declared them all to be boring and started singing a dirty ditty, trying to get their attention. Once she reached the part about buxom wenches and stiff masts Garrett spoke up. "That's enough Isabela" he snapped gruffly. Bethany rolled her eyes, she knew why he was offended, and quite frankly, had had enough of his over protective ways. "Keep singing Issy" she said, "I want to know how it ends." Isabela opened her mouth but dark looks from both men in the party pinned her mouth firmly closed. "Another time Sunshine, Garrett looks like he wants to garrotte me" she laughed at her own joke. Bethany smiled too, the first one in what felt like months. Isabela took some time to get used to, but once she had, Bethany found she quite liked her. She had also seen how Isabela looked at her brother, something akin to hero worship so she knew that what she wanted came a poor second.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

Cullen was standing in his usual spot in the Gallows, careful to keep distance between himself and his fellow Templars. More of the truth of his rampage had filtered through the ranks and he found himself in the awful position of being held in high regard by the Templars he hated and held in contempt by the ones he would have liked to make his friends. Therefore he kept to himself, leading an austere existence. The only people he spoke to were Elthina and Meredith, the two sides of the same coin. He had noticed the young Prince from Starkhaven, Vael he believed his name to be. He was taking up much of Elthina's time, so Cullen found himself at a loose end quite frequently. He would never admit it, but he was desperately lonely, and he found himself questioning his purpose within the order more and more.

There had been news of mages from the circle in Starkhaven escaping, and their Templars were hunting them down. Cullen knew that they would execute them no questions asked, so trying to ensure that they were merely apprehended, he had had sent Thrask to oversee the operation. Thrask was a good man he had compassion and mercy in his soul, not like that Alrik. He had noticed that Alrik was creating more and more tranquils than could possibly be necessary. He had tried to broach the subject with Meredith, but she had been unconcerned. He is a good man, she had said. Devout and follows the law of the order to the letter. Cullen wasn't so sure, he could swear that a lot of the new tranquils had passed their Harrowing, but when he tried to access the records he had found that most of them had either vanished or had been tampered with. With no real proof and the only Templars who would help him seeing him as a foul murderer there was naught he could do. He vowed to keep an eye on the situation and the man.

Thrask returned in due time with sad news. He had enlisted Hawke's help, seeing him as a friend to mages. Unfortunately the apostates had all turned on each other in fear and desperation whilst their leader escaped, and Hawke had found nothing but dead bodies. Cullen shuddered glad he had tasked someone else with the job. He had seen enough dead mages to last him a life time. Although Thrask did not really seem upset by the events, something Cullen wondered about. Perhaps he had misread the man, and he wasn't the kind man he thought him to be. Cullen sighed quietly, he didn't trust his own judgement anymore, so he had no idea who to trust. Perhaps he was also wrong about Alrik. He didn't know. Once again he considered throwing down his sword and settling a farm somewhere. He squared his shoulders no he still had much to atone for he would not turn his back on his duty now. Not while there was so much evil on both sides to contend with. Once again he set off to the Knight Commander's office to report the events.

"This Hawke's name keeps turning up in my reports" Meredith's voice cut through the air. Her usually composed face was now creased with worry. "Why is he dealing with more of these problems than our own Cullen?" He could tell by her tone that she was unhappy with the idea of a mere refugee solving their problems. "He is able to access people and places that are cut off from us" he answered carefully. He didn't want to let her know that he was feeling sorrier for the mages than any self-respecting Templar should, especially one of his station. She sighed, with the Qunari threat still hovering over them, and more and more mages disappearing she was looking tired and drawn. She was still a handsome woman for her age and he wondered what had drawn her to the order. He knew almost nothing about her save that she took her duties very seriously. "We may have another problem" she rubbed her hand across her face. "Ser Alrik has sent these messages out, to me, the Grand Cleric, even the Divine herself." Cullen picked up the letter she threw across the table to him. He read it sucking in his breath at the horror of what the man was suggesting. "He wants to make all mages tranquil? What sort of rubbish is this?" Cullen was aghast. "We have all rejected the suggestion out of hand. But I fear what you were saying is true. We need insurmountable proof to cast him from the order. Please see what you can do Knight Captain." Not wanting to tell her he had already been investigating and had drawn a blank, he nodded slightly and left her office. He knew what to do, he would go and see Hawke, if anyone could figure this out he could.

Cullen travelled to Lowtown, to where he knew the Hawke's were staying. On arriving there he found that Garrett had indeed found the money and had gone to the Deep Roads desperate to find comfort and security for his family. The door was answered by Bethany her brother had deemed the venture too risky and left her behind to look out for their mother. Upon hearing the news he did the one thing he had avoided but his sense of duty to his order overtook him. "I am sorry Serah Hawke your daughter is an apostate and must be taken to the Circle." He turned his head away as she let out a shriek of grief. "No, please Ser Cullen, no. I have already lost one son, I do not know if the other will return. Please I beg of you, do not take my only daughter. It is not her fault…" Her words trailed off as he held up a warning hand. "You know the law Serah, she must come. If she comes quietly I will not prosecute you or your brother for harbouring an illegal mage." The other man in the room stepped forward, fear touched his face as he realised the implications of Cullen's words. "Please Leandra, you have had her for longer than most families get to keep their children who carry magic." His comforting words belied the self-preservation that motivated them. "Uncle Gamlen is right Mother." She nodded to Cullen "if you will kindly allow me to collect some things Ser. I will come along so quietly you will not even know I am there." She smiled trying to make light, so her mother wouldn't see how frightened she was.

Bethany slipped into the damp room that she had shared with her brother. She changed into the Circle robes that one of the Templars had produced. They must take a set with them just in case they run into an apostate she thought ruefully. Or perhaps this was their intent. She didn't think so though, the Knight Captain had seemed only intent on finding her brother, only taking her in when he saw that he wasn't there. She shrugged, it didn't really matter the freedom that her family had fought for her whole life was slipping through her fingers. Gathering up a few sentimental possessions, she paused as she found the portrait of her mother that Garrett had found. It had been a promise of a better life. She hoped he found what he was looking for in the Deep Roads. She knew that he would return safely. He would relish killing more darkspawn, getting vengeance for all of his comrades that had fallen to them at Ostagar. Finally she was ready emerging from the room she moved over to comfort her mother one last time as the front door burst open.

Garrett's face turned from triumph to angry concern upon seeing Cullen and the Templars standing in their house, and his sister in the Circle robes. "What's going on here?" He demanded furiously. "Your sister is an apostate I have come to take her to the Circle" Cullen answered calmly. "Over my dead body" her brother stepped up nose to nose with the Knight Captain. Bethany inserted herself firmly in between them. "No brother, he is right I must go" her words held conviction. She would not see her family punished in a desperate bid for her freedom. "I am only not prosecuting your family due to your sister's co-operation" Cullen stated, his voice still calm. Garrett stepped back, his face a mask of sneering disgust. Cullen ushered her gently out the door. She stopped just before leaving "farewell brother, look after mother won't you?" They both heard the thump as Leandra fell to her knees on the dirt floor, her heart broken wailing tearing through both of them. A vision of the last mother he had heard do that came to his mind and it took all of his resolve to not return Bethany to her family.

He heard her suck her breath in sharply as she stumbled over the hems of the long robes. He caught her by the elbow before she hit the ground. "I am sorry Knight Captain I am not used to wearing such robes. I am not as graceful as I should be." He smiled apologetically "No, it is I who am sorry there is no need for such haste." He slowed his step to accommodate her smaller steps. She nodded her head gratefully. They strolled through the streets from Lowtown to the Gallows, Bethany taking the chance to relish the sights, sounds and smells she had so far taken for granted. Her steps faltered at the entrance to the Circle fighting the urge to stun them all and run. Cullen allowed her to gather herself before introducing her to the First Enchanter and helping escort her to her new lodgings.


	6. Chapter 6

6.

Bethany stood staring out of the barred windows of her dormitory. First Enchanter Orsino would be here soon to help her with her lessons. She had asked about becoming a healer, Anders' work still inspiring her. He had assessed her skills and had informed her that that was not where her talent lay. "You will only ever be able to do minimal healing Bethany" he had told her to her dismay. "Your talents are more battling talents. I will show you the way of the Force Mage." Orsino had taken her under his wing, recognising her as a strong mage, one with many capabilities and one who would not be easy prey to a demon. She had great respect for the elven enchanter, starting to see him as a father figure and the only stability she had in a Circle full of fear.

Hearing a slight noise behind her she whirled around surprised to see the Knight Captain standing there. He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot "I uh came to see how you were settling in" he smiled uncertainly. "I am fine thank you" her tone was stiff. "I know you must still harbour resentment towards me for my role in this. For that I am sorry. I…" She cut him off. "There is no need I understand you were only doing your job." "Be that as it may I still don't relish tearing families apart." Again he shifted uncomfortably. She waved her hand at him dismissively "as I said I am fine." She stared at him quizzically. "Is there something you wish to ask of me" Cullen asked hesitantly. "No… well I am wondering why you are so concerned?" Bethany was suspicious. She had heard talk that he had been asking after her. "I just…. well…. I just wanted to make sure you were adjusting." He appeared to be about to say more when Orsino walked in. "I hope all is well here?" Orsino stared at Cullen questioningly. "Yes First Enchanter I was just seeing how the young lady was adjusting. She seems to be doing exceptionally well. I will leave you to your lessons." Cullen dipped his head in farewell and turned on his heel. "He was not bothering you my dear? Orsino was concerned. "No First Enchanter." Satisfied, Orsino nodded and they continued on to the next lesson.

Cullen was asking himself why he was so concerned about the young mage. He needed to atone for his past misdeeds, he told himself. That is all it is, nothing more nothing less. But he knew he was lying. He needed to stop this behaviour, it was creepy. He had done the same thing in Ferelden, to the hero before she had become so. She had always been nice to him though, even flirting with him after her Harrowing. He had become panicked at the thought of having what was taboo and had ran off, only seeing her again as she came to save the Circle there. He had confessed his feelings believing her to be a vision sent to tempt him by the demons. She was then the one that had set off the horrible chain of events. He sighed, remembering how he had cursed her with every blow he had dealt during that terrible time. Blaming her for his actions, later he came to see that it was his fault and his alone. He still saw mages as living weapons, beings that could set the world on fire simply because the mood took them to. He could see why they were feared and that is why he needed to end his obsession with Bethany. But no matter how hard he tried her face would slip before him at his most unguarded moments. He took to standing in the Gallows, alone, more and more, avoiding any unnecessary human contact. He wondered why the only women he was attracted to, were the only ones he could not have. Forbidden fruit is all the sweeter a traitorous voice whispered in his mind. Shaking it off Cullen attended to his duties.

The Qunari threat was growing, but thankfully the Viscount and the Knight Commander were the ones dealing with it. He was left with the day to day running of the order, something he could do easily. He avoided going into the mages quarters as much as he could and had almost successfully pushed the beautiful mage from his mind. That was until he needed to speak to Orsino. Bethany had stepped from a room right in front of him causing him to step painfully on the back of her foot. "Owww" blood spurted from the back of her heel. She turned and leaned against the wall, shocked at the look of distress on his face as the blood dripped on the floor. "Maker, I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you to come out." He looked positively crestfallen. She placed her hand comfortingly on his arm, "it's alright, I don't think it's fatal" she laughed slightly. He collected himself, ignoring the thrill of her touch. He watched as blue pulsed from her fingers quickly healing the small wound. He loved to see the positive uses of magic it reminded him that not all of it was dangerous. "See all better now" she waved her hand over the drips of blood and they disappeared from the floor. "Safety first" she quipped and they laughed. "Are you going to see the First Enchanter?" he asked. She nodded her head in the affirmative. "May I walk with you then?" Again she nodded. "You don't have to be so formal all the time you know? I am but a person." He nodded "I know I just do not wish to overstep my bounds." As they walked together companionably, she thought he was not as fearsome as he appeared. She snuck a glance at his profile, he was quite handsome really. Why was she only ever attracted to unattainable men? First Anders and Keran and now him, ah well, no matter, mages weren't encouraged to form emotional attachments anyway so it was probably better that way.

As they walked he saw the familiar figure of Alrik approaching, he felt her move instinctively closer to him, their bodies were close and she grabbed at his arm. He felt her fear and again worried about what Alrik was doing. He had not gotten any further in his investigation of him, and had been uncomfortable about asking Hawke for assistance after what he had done. He resolved to ask him anyway, Hawke would help him he was sure, even if it was only to ensure his sister's safety. "You are afraid of him?" Cullen looked at her, making no effort to remove her hand from his arm. She bit her lip "many of my friends are now tranquil. I know they did nothing wrong, and mostly they are female. I have seen him quite frequently lately and it worries me." He nodded "I have been trying to find evidence. The Knight Commander will not act without concrete proof. Please, Bethany, if you know of anything you must tell me." Frowning she said "I have no real proof, I wish I did. But it warms my heart to know that there are some of you who are genuinely looking out for us." They came to the door of the First Enchanter he looked up surprised to see Bethany and Cullen conversing so intently her hand still on his arm. She removed it quickly having forgotten that it was there. It had just seemed right. "I am sorry I need to speak with Orsino privately, if you wouldn't mind waiting." She smiled "of course not, Knight Captain."

A few days after their last encounter, Bethany was hovering around the entrance to the Gallows. She needed to go to the market but was only allowed if she were accompanied by a Templar. The only one she had seen who was not on duty was Alrik and was loath to be alone with him. She had seen him skulking around near her room and was deathly afraid of him. He spied her alone and began walking towards her. "Hello there, young lady" his voice was oily. She stopped herself from stepping backwards, it was something her brothers had taught her, never show your fear. As soon as you show your fear, they have you. "Hello Ser Alrik, it is a lovely day we are having" she dipped her knee in an almost mocking gesture. He didn't seem to notice and glanced around, seeing who was close. "Is there something I can help you with? I know you sometimes run errands for Orsino, perhaps I could accompany you." His smile was oilier than his voice. "I….." To her immense relief Cullen walked up. "Ah there you are Bethany, thank you for being so patient. I will take you to the market now" he said as if it had all been arranged. She dipped her knee to him "you are too kind Knight Captain Cullen." Turning to Alrik "thank you for your kind offer Ser Alrik, but the Knight Captain will help me see to my duties." Alrik's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "We are quite the little Circle pet aren't we? The First Enchanter and now the Knight Captain seeing to your every whim" the two men glared at each other.

"Thank the Maker you came when you did" Bethany exclaimed, once they were out of Alrik's earshot. They were walking around the market, Cullen marvelling at the easy way she bartered with the merchants. "He would not be a desirable companion to anyone, least of all a mage" Cullen replied darkly. He detested the man, and upon seeing him cornering Bethany like a predatory animal, he had stepped into action. "Besides I was coming out here anyway, it's nice to have some company for a change." Bethany glanced at him, struck again by his strong handsome features. She had the urge to touch his golden hair wondering if it felt as wiry as it looked "you don't spend much time with your fellows then?" He shook his head "no I prefer to keep to myself." She opened her mouth to ask why, he looked so sad when he said that. But, she didn't want to pry. She had heard the rumours about him but she found it hard to imagine this kind honourable man slaying mages left and right, so she tended to disbelieve them. "I spoke with your brother yesterday" he said. "Oh, how is he?" "Still angry with me I imagine" he laughed ruefully. "He asked after you, I get the feeling if anything were to happen to you, he would slay us all." She smiled "yes, he could be quite over protective, sometimes unbearably so." She remembered his blustering about Anders. "I miss him" her words were quiet. Cullen looked down, guilt tearing at him. "I know" he looked at his feet. "It's not your fault Knight Captain, I know you left me be as long as you could. In fact after I stopped being angry at you, I came to respect you for sticking to your convictions." His heart caught in his chest, she respected him and didn't hate him. She caught him smiling foolishly at her words and grinned. "Well Knight Captain, I am finished so I suppose I should go back" she sounded as regretful as he felt. "You know, we could go for a walk to some of the other markets if you wished." "You wouldn't get in trouble for keeping me away longer than I should be?" She would love to go somewhere else other than the Gallows. He shrugged "I'm the Knight Captain, who would dare question me?" "Good point" she laughed "in that case, I would love to accept your gracious invitation." He offered her his arm and the people in Kirkwall were treated to the strange sight of a mage and Templar walking arm in arm.

They both knew they were playing a dangerous game as their flirtations were becoming more apparent to everyone around them. So much so that Cullen found himself in Meredith's office answering her invasive questions. "You are aware Knight Captain that the order dictates that a Templar and mage cannot have a relationship?" He nodded "Yes Knight Commander I am well aware. I have heard of no decree forbidding friendship though" his eyes glittered angrily. He refused to give up the only real friend he had. Meredith's face was twisted in frustration. What was wrong with the Templars here, they knew better than anyone the dangers mages posed. To become soft, it was too dangerous. "Be careful that that is how it remains" her words hissed out, warning him not to push too hard. "Yes Knight Commander, of course." His shoulders slumped as he walked out. He enjoyed Bethany's company, he knew what he was doing was pushing the boundaries of the tenets of the order, but he couldn't give up his time with her. It was the only time he felt like a normal human being.

He remembered their last conversation. She had reminisced about the time her brothers had found her kissing a young farm hand behind a barn during a festival. Much to her chagrin they had chased him off yelling threats of bodily harm. Cullen had laughed imagining the terror at being chased by the fearsome Hawke brothers. He had never met Bethany's twin, as he had been killed by an ogre as they fled Lothering, but he had heard he was an accomplished warrior. The farm hand would be no match for them.

His views on mages were softening, he saw how they could help the world rather than destroy it. He had been thinking on it more and more. Still, he told himself, they were living weapons, forgetting that could be disastrous.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

Bethany had passed her Harrowing, and now had her own charges to nurture. She still spent a lot of time with Orsino honing her skills. She enjoyed their time together, finding him to be sensitive and intelligent. Laughing to herself she thought about the two men she spent most of her time with. Polar opposites, but she enjoyed their company for those reasons. It was always good to see another perspective of the situation. It stopped her from feeling self-pity and it kept her from dwelling on what her family was doing too much. She had heard from Cullen that her brother's trip to the Deep Roads was a success, and that he had bought back the family mansion. She was glad for her mother, but wished that she could be living there too. She missed his protective ways, and knew that if he saw the way Alrik was stalking her he would be livid. Contemplating sending him a message about it, she walked down one of the many long hallways, intent on getting to her charges. Having found a new way to teach a spell, she was eager to try it out. One of the young mages was angry and resentful at having been taken away from his family. He seemed to think that if he didn't use his magic, they would let him go home. Trying to convince him that they wouldn't, so it would be a shame to not use it was proving futile. To rip a child from the loving arms of his mother was a sin against the Maker in her opinion. No wonder, with all the abuses that go on, that in the end they see the demons as preferable. Sometimes the demons were more honest than the Templars. If Cullen knew what she was thinking he would have been horrified, scared that she could fall to temptation. But Bethany had no illusions. She had grown up in a loving family, and was confident that one day she would return to them.

After finishing arranging the next day's lessons, Bethany hurried off to see about another game of Diamondback with Cullen, before lights out. It was funny in her mind she called him Cullen, but verbally always addressed him formally. To her dismay he wasn't there. Turning to go back to her room, Alrik appeared in front of her. "Looking for someone mage?" He snarled still angry about their last meeting. "I had business with the Knight Captain, but he must be busy" Bethany tried to step around him. Alrik neatly stepped in front of her blocking her path, "ah yes the Knight Captain, you do seem to spend a lot of time with him lately." Bethany glared "I am sure it is none of your concern" again she tried to step around him, only to have her path blocked again. "But, it is my concern, it is everyone's concern if a mage and a Templar have an inappropriate relationship" his face was a caricature of worry. "I am only troubled for your soul child." Stepping back, trying to find a way around him her reply was sarcastic "my soul is fine, but I thank you for your diligence." It seemed he could anticipate her every step, she still couldn't find a way around him. A familiar voice came from behind her "I didn't know you had taken to teaching the mages to dance Alrik. Surely you could find a more appropriate venue" Cullen's voice held no humour. "Your knight in shining armour appears once again. You know his armour wasn't always quite so shiny" malice coated his words. "Quiet Alrik, remember your place." Cullen was absolutely livid that Alrik hinted at his shameful secret. Bethany was trapped in between the two Templars, unsure of what to do. She ducked back behind Cullen, using him as protection. "Bethany I apologise that I was absent, unfortunately I have no time to attend to our business tonight. Please return to your quarters." Bethany nodded and gratefully hurried away. "Alrik, my office, now" Cullen barked.

Cullen glared at Alrik from behind his desk. "You will leave Bethany alone. Do you hear me? I have seen your unseemly behaviour around her, and it will stop. Do I make myself clear?" Cullen's tone brooked no argument. Alrik didn't care "You overstep Knight Captain. I have as much right to watch the mages as do you." Cullen stood abruptly, flipping his chair backwards with a loud thump. "No Alrik, you overstep by questioning the orders of the Knight Captain. Bethany is under my personal protection, any harm comes to her I will come looking for you." Alrik stepped back involuntarily, he wasn't easily frightened, but the fire he saw in the other man's eyes caused him a great deal of unease. "I know what you're doing Alrik, and when I have proof I will see you cast from the order" Cullen's voice had become dangerously quiet. Alrik knew he was defeated "may I leave Knight Captain?" he asked stiffly. Cullen nodded "yes get out." He listened for which way Alrik was going, satisfied that he had gone in the direction of the Templars quarters, he straightened his chair before sitting back down.

Bethany stepped nervously into Cullen's office she had not gone back to her quarters as directed, instead hanging around listening into the argument. Her heart had soared when she had heard Cullen's words. He did care about her, leaning back against the wall she had been in two minds after seeing Alrik leave. Throwing caution to the wind she decided to go to him. Cullen looked up, surprised to see her standing there. "Bethany I expressly told you to return to…" Cutting him off "I know, I'm sorry, I just wanted to see if you were alright." He nodded "I am fine honestly if you get caught here at this time you will be in trouble." She shrugged his worries off, "I am quite capable of moving around without being seen." He put his hand across his face "Maker, woman you will be the death of me." I certainly hope not" she replied mischievously. "So, I am fine, allow me to see you to your quarters." She raised her hand "first I want to know the benefits of being under the Knight Captain's personal protection" she poked her tongue out at him. He chuckled "well, you won't be made tranquil without a fight." He was surprised at how close she was to him as he hadn't even notice her move. "Is that all?" Her voice was barely a whisper as she raised her hand to stroke his face. He caught it "we cannot…." Bethany broke free from his grasp "why can't we? Is this what the Maker would truly want, a man and a woman, denied from being together. I have seen how you look at me your eyes mirror my own feelings." Cullen could not deny it. He loved her, it was not a passing fancy it was love. She raised her hand again, this time he allowed her to touch him. Overcome with feeling he took her in his arms kissing her, hesitantly at first, his lips became more insistent as passion threatened to overtake him. "How can something that is supposed to be wrong, feel so right?" he moaned into her hair, conflicted, as his mind and heart warred with each other. "I don't know, and I don't care. All I know is this is something I want… no need. Never let me go" her breath was hot against his neck. Both of them were so intent on the other they didn't notice his door open and then surreptitiously close. Alrik had come back, intending on finishing the argument. What he saw filled his heart with glee, with a spring in his step he set off towards the Knight Commander's office, spite shining from his unnaturally blue eyes.

Cullen and Bethany broke free from each other, "come you must get back to your quarters. It is unseemly for you to be here at such a time." Nodding her agreement, she kissed him gently "goodnight Cullen" his heart sang as his name rolled off her tongue. It was the first time she had referred to him by name, and it sounded like a melody. He smiled at her as she left, leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, he felt every inch a man in love.

He was wide awake, despite the late hour and took up some paperwork that needed to be done. He usually avoided doing it so it was stacked up, much to his assistant's frustration. He had been offered a tranquil as they were deemed more organised, but he found them to be unnatural and creepy, so he had opted for a young recruit. He buried himself in the mindless busywork a constant smile playing around his lips. The door flew open, and Knight Commander Meredith strode in, an accusing glare on her face. "What is the meaning of this Meredith?" Shock had stripped him of his usual rigid good manners. She looked around the room, flinging open the closet door, peering in, moving things around. Cullen stood back nervously, how could she know? "I have just heard a disturbing report regarding you and that young mage I keep hearing about." Cullen narrowed his eyes "have you now? And that report would be?" He crossed his arms in defiance. "You were seen kissing her, right here in your office" outrage filled her voice. "Well, there is no mage here, and as you can see my lips are currently otherwise engaged" his sarcasm did not escape her. She cast him a scathing look and stormed out of his office. Cullen sat down heavily, his good mood gone. How could she have known so quickly? Did she have some sort of magical spying device in here? He looked around nervously, before dismissing the idea as paranoid. It didn't matter she had found out somehow, he and Bethany would have to be extremely careful.

He woke up bathed in sweat, the cries of men and women as he struck them down ringing in his ears, their magic no use against his maniacal anger. His breath came out in short, sharp gasps it had been so long since he had had those dreams, why again now? He knew why, Bethany. He could not enter into anything with her, not without her knowing the truth. His heart shrunk against his chest, he knew she would probably hate him, but he needed to tell her. Otherwise anything they had together would be as tainted as the 'spawn. He laid back down, his mind racing, trying to work out how to tell her, without her despising him. He couldn't think of a way. He would just have to risk it.

Bethany on the other hand was having a wonderful dream. Her and Cullen were together, walking along hand in hand, not having to worry about the watchful eyes of the Templars. Free to express their love. Cullen stopped to pick a flower and tucked it into her hair. She rolled over in her bed, clutching her pillow in an embrace, his name slipping through her lips. She rose early, hoping to catch him before the morning service at the Chantry. She hurried towards his office, stopping short upon seeing Alrik leaning next to his door. She quickly turned, not wanting him to see her. She looked for him at the service, surprised to not see him there. Where was he, was he avoiding her? Surely he would not miss something as important as morning service merely to avoid her? She didn't know, the elation from last night becoming anxiety. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw him hurry through the doors. Catching his eye she smiled shyly, he smiled briefly back, taking his usual spot.

Bethany fumbled her way through her morning routine, clearly distracted. This caused Orsino to exclaim in frustration "Maker, child what is wrong with you?" This made her think of that night when Anders had said much the same thing. Thank the Maker that nothing had come of that, her last letter from Garrett had expressed his concern that Anders was slowly losing the battle with Justice. She supposed what she was entering into wasn't without its risks, but at least Cullen wasn't in danger of becoming a monster. She touched her lips remembering Cullen's lips on hers and smiled. Orsino sighed "Alright, that will do for today, your mind is clearly elsewhere. " Bethany jumped up eager to be gone. "Bethany" she stopped at the urgent sound of her name. "Yes First Enchanter?" She turned back to him. "The path of life is fraught with many dangerous temptations. Choose your way carefully. I would hate to see you fall." Bethany frowned, confused by his seemingly random advice. Did he know? He couldn't, it only happened last night. Brushing her confusion aside, she walked away, unconsciously heading towards Cullen's office.

Poking her head around the door, she was disappointed to see that it was empty. "My, my but we do like to hang around here lately" the familiar oily voice was close to her ear. She jumped back putting as much distance between her and the loathsome man as possible. "I was just delivering a message, but as the Knight Captain is not here I will be on my way" she moved around him easily. His next words stopped her short "I saw something very interesting last night, something very interesting indeed." Slowly turning to look at him, her heart was beating very rapidly. Not saying a word she waited to see if he had more to say "the very honourable Knight Captain kissing a mage right here in his office. It's shameful really." Bethany rubbed her arms nervously. Still not speaking she waited. "You know, he was not always so honourable. When the hero, she is your cousin is she not?" He didn't wait for an answer. "When the hero asked for her boon after defeating the blight, the good Knight Captain went a bit crazy, took to his sword, slaying mages left and right." He smiled nastily at the sound of her breath being sucked in sharply. "I don't believe you." Her words were sharp as she defended the man she loved. "Ah, but it is true, ask him yourself. I am sure such an honourable man would never lie to you." He ambled away, happy that he had firmly planted the seeds of suspicion. Bethany stood there a little longer, unsure of what to do. She had heard the rumours and had decided they were rubbish. But that smarmy bastard was so sure of himself. Perhaps it was true, she shuddered at the thought. Well there was nothing she could do about it now as Cullen wasn't here to ask.

Cullen was standing in his usual spot in the Gallows, he had a heavy heart knowing the conversation that he would be having with Bethany later could potentially destroy the only happiness he had felt in so long. After what he had done, perhaps he deserved no happiness. He shuffled back and forth, deep in thought. He didn't notice Hawke and his companions approach him. "Hello there" Hawke's voice brought him out of his reverie. He considered the brother of his love, he was so arrogant and cocky it was hard to believe he could be related to someone so humble. "Hello there Hawke, what would you have of me?" He looked at him enquiringly. "I was just stopping by to ask after my sister. How is she faring in this prison?" Hawke's voice dripped with venom. He still harboured deep resentment against the man who had taken her away. "She has adjusted exceedingly well, considering the circumstances. She is an amazing woman" he smiled remembering her breath hot against his neck. He saw Hawke peering at him suspiciously. "Yes she is I wouldn't have thought that you would have had so much to do with her to notice." Cullen shifted "I have kept an eye on her as I am responsible for her being here after all." Hawke nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. He heard Anders muttering to one of the party members. "Every time I come here there are more and more tranquil." He was looking around angrily. This reminded Cullen that he had meant to ask Hawke for his assistance, but before he could Anders tugged on Hawke's arm. "Hawke I need to speak with you urgently, at my clinic." Hawke nodded towards Cullen "goodbye Knight Captain." They moved away hurriedly before he could stop them.

Cullen's steps were heavy as he returned to his office. He knew Bethany would come and he would have to tell her the truth. He sat down savouring the memories of last night, they had merely kissed like teenagers, but it had been so long since he had had physical contact, it was a memory to cherish. He dragged some paperwork and dug into it, trying to keep his mind busy. It wasn't long before Bethany arrived, smiling at the sight of him so deep in concentration. He looked up, not returning her smile. "Is something wrong" she asked worriedly. She had decided not to ask him just yet about Alrik's accusations. He sighed "perhaps, Bethany we need to talk" he motioned for her to sit in the chair opposite him. She did as she was bid, not really liking where this was going. "Let me guess, this is the part where you let me down gently? You have decided that what we may have is not worth risking the Maker's wrath" her voice was bitter. Cullen shook his head he dragged his chair around the desk, placing it so he would sit facing her. He took her hand "no nothing like that. Will you hear my confession?" She frowned "I am not of the Chantry. If you want to confess something to cleanse your soul shouldn't you go there?" He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth "I have confessed it there, but this is a confession I must make to you. Before we go any further you need to know something about me. Something I am deeply ashamed of and have tried to atone for. But something you may never forgive." She sat back and nodded "I will listen to anything you have to say."

Cullen told her everything. The mages he had slayed, some of them he still wasn't sure if they were mages. How it didn't matter as he meant to see every mage dead and if he killed one who didn't have magic to get to ones that did then it had all been worth it. He ignored the horror on her face, he had started and he meant to finish it. He didn't sugar coat his madness or his actions, she had the right to know about the man she was potentially taking on. He pretended not to notice how she had disengaged her hand from his and was looking at him with the same expression she had only ever reserved for Alrik. He spoke until she could stand no more "enough" she demanded. "I can't believe, I had heard the rumours but had dismissed them as vile gossip." He stared at the ground not wanting to see the contempt he heard in her voice expressed on her face. "You just killed them, hunted them down like animals, only for using the gifts the Maker gave them. And they let you live?" Her voice was becoming shrill. "Mages and their families can be executed just for trying to be free, and yet here you are the Knight Captain, with the blood of so many on your hands. Do not come near me" she hissed. "Stay away from me, I thought Alrik was bad, but at least he only wanted to take their minds, not their lives. He came to me you know, Alrik saw us kissing last night and wanted to gloat. He told me of your actions but I didn't believe him. He told me to ask you, but I couldn't conceive of asking if you had done such an evil thing. I couldn't believe that you would do something like that." At this last statement she got up running out of his office. Cullen sat with his head in his hands listening to his love run away from him.

Later he was sitting at his desk staring at the ceiling when his assistant ran in "Knight Captain Cullen I have some distressing news, Ser Alrik has been found dead, killed by magic." Cullen laughed humourlessly "well at least one of my problems is solved." His assistant looked at him in consternation. "But Knight Captain…" he trailed off, Cullen's gaze silencing him. "Inform Knight Commander Meredith, and shut the door behind you. I do not wish to be disturbed by anyone tonight." His assistant nodded, backing slowly from the room. After locking his office door, Cullen took out his key, unlocking the bottom drawer of his desk. Taking out a bottle of whiskey, he uncorked it and drank straight from the bottle. He continued drinking until oblivion took him. "I have much to atone for" the words slurred out as the bottle hit the floor.

Bethany returned to her normal routine, Orsino noticed how morose she was and in an effort to cheer her up asked her to run some errands for him. Usually she jumped at the chance to get out of the Circle but today she merely shrugged. "Of course First Enchanter, I will try to find a Templar who is willing to take me." She walked away her steps heavy. Her heart had been shattered with Cullen's revelations. To have the man that she had seen as honourable ripped down so completely in her eyes had nearly broken her. She missed their weekly games, damn she missed him, but she couldn't forgive what he had done. Every time she saw him, she saw a cold blooded killer, not the warm man she had come to love. Her shoulders drooped as she trudged wearily to the entrance of the Gallows. Spying a Templar she asked if she could accompany her to run her errands. The Templar nodded curtly, surprised as the Knight Captain usually accompanied her. Perhaps the rumours were true and they had had a brief love affair before he had cast her aside. Poor girl the Templar thought looking at the mage's miserable face. She had no particular hate for mages, only having joined the order out of desperation for a steady pay cheque.

Cullen was standing at his usual place in the Gallows, his expression mirrored Bethany's his usual rigid posture now slumped. He looked a broken man. Bethany quickly finished up collecting the items on Orsino's list, feeling his eyes burning into her back. She returned, for once relieved to be going back into the Circle.

On her return a Templar came up to her, telling her she had a visitor. Her heart lifted, it had to be her mother she came and visited her once a week. She had wondered where she was as she had usually come for her visit by now. Bethany ran to the visiting area, stopping abruptly as she saw Uncle Gamlen standing there a look of abject misery on her face. "Uncle, what is it?" Bethany thought that her brother's wild lifestyle had finally caught up to him. "Bethany, my child, I am sorry…." His voice faltered, unsure of how to continue. "What is it?" she repeated anxiety in her voice. "It's your mother, she has been killed." Bethany felt faint. "Mother, killed?" her voice was choking her. "A blood mage serial killer, I won't go into details, it's too horrible." Gamlen was distraught. "Where is the killer, I will get out of here I swear, I will…." Bethany felt even more of her world crumbling away from her. "He is dead. Garrett found him and made sure he can't do it to anyone else." A Templar walked over signifying that visiting time was over. Gamlen got to his feet taking Bethany in his arms he hugged her tight. "I am sorry, I will miss her too. Life is terribly unfair sometimes, I just got my sister back and now she is gone. This time though there is no hope of her returning." He looked as if he had aged twenty years. She watched his retreating back, tears rolling down her face. She prayed to the Maker to strike her dead, she could not live with this pain.

Cullen heard of what had happened to Serah Hawke, he wanted more than anything to go to Bethany to comfort her. But the thought of her spurning him, made him stay away. He was a coward, he knew. Instead he sent her a message of condolence as was expected of him when a mage lost a family member. She had sent a request to see her brother, but he heard it had been denied, she was considered too much of a flight risk. If things had been different he would have offered to take her, but he couldn't stand the thought of her rejecting him.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

The Qunari had been all but forgotten by both of them, as they had struggled to deal with their personal dramas. It soon exploded though, into an event that was impossible to ignore. Orsino had run through the halls gathering as many mages as he could. "Come" he shouted "we must help to defend the city. The Qunari are attacking." Bethany grabbed her staff and ran with the others to gather at the entrance to the Gallows. He stood before them "we must protect the city and its inhabitants. We must work together to ensure victory, as the Qunari are more of a threat to all of us, than we could possibly be to each other." Knight Commander Meredith stood next to him, nodding in rare agreement. He chose patrols, sending them out to different parts of the city, as Meredith did the same with the Templars. He kept Bethany as part of his group and they set out trying to fight their way to Vigil's Keep. They had heard that the Qunari were taking hostages and holding them there.

Bethany revelled in being able to use her new skills in battle. She had forgotten how it felt to use her powers for practical purposes rather than theoretical ones. She took out her frustrations and misery on any Qunari or looters that they found. She felt invincible as they moved through Kirkwall, flinging anyone that got in her way to the ground before finishing them off with a fireball. For the first time in days she was smiling. Reliving some of the more adventurous moments she had spent with her brother before she had been taken away. It was all going swimmingly until they got bailed up by a huge group of Qunari. One of their mages, a frightening specimen to behold with his collar, chains and sewn up mouth, unleashed a wall of electricity that sent them all slamming to the ground. As blackness overtook her, her last thought was of Cullen and a strangled cry issued from her lips.

Not long after Hawke, Anders, Aveline and Fenris came upon them. A furious battle with the remaining Qunari ensued, once they were all dead Hawke spied the First Enchanter struggling to get up. He rushed over to help him up. "Thank you" Orsino muttered, his head felt like it was about to split open. "It looks like you were lucky" Hawke remarked surveying the carnage around them. Orsino looked around him, "no, they all can't be gone. I told them to run." He spied Bethany, running over he dropped to his knees beside her seemingly lifeless body desperately trying to revive her. To his relief she woke and rolled over. "Child, I told you to run" he said admonishingly. "We had to do something" her words were faint as she struggled to recover. He helped her up, she saw her brother and just as she was about to speak to him Meredith arrived. "First Enchanter Orsino, you survive." Orsino glared at her "your relief overwhelms me Knight Commander." They soon got to arguing about the best way to deal with the situation. Her brother interjected "I say we follow Orsino" he held the view that he was the most stable of the two of them. "You place us in dangerous hands" Meredith sniffed. "Or saves us from them" Orsino said drily. He pushed past Meredith and everyone followed his lead to get to the Keep.

They hid behind the wall, amazed at the sheer amount of Qunari that were amassed there. "I say we attack" Meredith declared. "Do not be a fool" Orsino spat "they have hostages. What we need is a distraction" again they started their bickering. Again her brother interjected "a distraction sounds like fun." Orsino nodded he was coming to like Hawke more and more. "How do you plan to distract them?" Meredith asked venomously. Her pride had already been dented having to follow Orsino in the first place. "Have faith Knight Commander" Orsino said, calmly walking towards the huge horned men. "You won't take this city without a fight" he yelled succeeding in getting their attention. He slung a huge and powerful ball of fire at them, killing about half a dozen instantly. Their leader yelled out something in Qunari. He threw another fireball at them as they started to chase him back towards Meredith and the others. Hawke spying his opportunity moved in unnoticed as they focussed on Orsino. Orsino moved slowly backwards, then running once he saw Hawke and his companions get through. Qunari followed, unknowingly running towards their deaths.

Cullen was on the other side of Kirkwall his patrol had succeeded in clearing out most of their assigned area. Once it was clear they too started moving towards the Keep. He had heard of the hostage situation. His group was considerably smaller than when they started, many had fallen to the Qunari's fearsome fighting skills. As they sprinted up the path to the Keep, he saw mages and Templars fighting a large group of Qunari together. He and his patrol joined the fray. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her, her black hair whipping about her face as she sent attack after attack. He was amazed at her skills, having only felt her magic the last time they had battled together. While he was momentarily distracted, a Qunari seeing his opportunity sunk his sword into his side. He stumbled and started to fall, but before he could he felt the tingle of healing magic run through him. He turned and saw Bethany directing the blue light at him. He instantly felt better and using the element of surprise he ran his sword through the heart of his attacker. He smiled, glad that she didn't hate him enough to let him die. The battle was finally over, Meredith ran through the door, stopping as she saw the body of the Arishok lying on the floor covered in blood. "Is it over?" she asked incredulously. Hawke nodded "it's over." The nobles in the room were cheering her brother. "It seems Kirkwall has a new champion" Meredith said grudgingly.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

Bethany was sore and sorry for herself the next day glad that Orsino had ordered a day of rest for them. She propped herself up on her pillows, staring at the painting of her mother. Once she had passed her Harrowing she had been given a room to herself, finally feeling free to decorate the room as she chose. She had bought some things on her outings with Cullen, but had removed them after their final conversation they reminded her of him too much. The only thing personal that remained was that painting. She sighed still not wanting to believe that she would never see her again. After having lost so much in such a short space of time she drifted into a deep depression. Seeing pain and misery all around her she started seriously considering taking her own life. Only her deep faith in the Maker stopped her. She found herself visiting the Chantry, kneeling at Andraste's stone feet, trying to find some comfort. Her prayers were interrupted one day by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the compassionate eyes of Grand Cleric Elthina. "Much is troubling you child. Please come and sit with an old woman and make her feel useful." Bethany got to her feet and followed Elthina to her quarters. She poured her heart out, glossing over the issues with Cullen, just saying that a man had broken her heart. She spoke at great length about the guilt and hopelessness she felt after her mother's death. Elthina listened patiently, allowing the young mage to get it all out.

"There is much misery in the world sometimes" her voice was calm and understanding. "But there is also joy. Do not allow the misery to taint everything that is good. Your mother is now with the Maker as well as your father and brother. She is at peace now. Unfortunately that peace does not always extend to the living "Bethany nodded, feeling some of the weight ease. "We must always strive to take some time and savour the small things in life otherwise the misery will eat away at your soul, leaving you as nothing more than a broken shell." Again Bethany nodded more of the weight was easing from her chest. "Now, about the man who broke your heart this pains me to say this, but with your current situation I fear I see no real way for you to have a future with him. It is probably for the best that it ended as abruptly as it began." Her last words returned some of the weight to her heart. Elthina got to her feet, motioning for Bethany to do the same. "Reflect on what I have said my dear. I think you may find some wisdom in an old woman's words." Bethany smiled appreciating her attempt at levity. "Thank you Your Grace, your words mean much." Bethany returned to her room feeling better than she had in days.

Elthina was right Bethany thought as she sat in the Circle's garden, propped up against a tree. It was better that the affair with Cullen had ended. Her fantasies of them having a life together were nothing more than childish imaginings. There was no way they could have had a future, other than stolen moments. She would never have been able to fall asleep in his arms, or for them to have had a family. It pained her, she still missed him deeply. Her depression mostly faded as she did as Elthina had suggested. She took some time to savour the small joys that life presented, the breeze that wafted through her hair as she sat out here. One of her charges mastering a spell she had been teaching. She tried to get as much joy out of her life as her meagre existence would allow.

Cullen tried to push Bethany from his mind, he found himself becoming more compassionate for the mages at the Circle. He empathised with them, and although some fell to the temptation of blood magic, he now saw them as the minority. The mages he knew wouldn't hurt a fly if they could help it. He saw how they used their powers to nurture the world around him, coaxing frightened children out of their shells, bringing tired plants to life in the garden. They were not just living weapons as he had always thought. They were people, with thoughts and feelings just like everybody else. He wished he could open their prison and set them all free to be with their families as the Maker had always intended. He thought again about throwing down his sword and settling a farm somewhere, but he couldn't. There were too many Templars using their position to take advantage of them.

The other day he had found a young boy hiding in a closet, trembling in fear. He had knelt down before him "what is the matter child?" The boy cowered away from him. "There is no need to be frightened. I will not harm you." The boy must have sensed the truth in his words as he had shuffled forward. "Tell me, what is wrong?" Cullen prodded him gently, hating to see a child in such distress. "Please Ser, I cannot tell. He… he said he would kill my family if I tell." Cullen drew a deep breath. "I will not allow any harm come to your family, please tell me what is bothering you." The boy's breath hitched and he started to talk. The things he told Cullen made his toes curl with disgust. "Who is this Templar who has done such dreadful things to you" he asked, keeping his voice as calm as he could. The boy hesitated, he looked into the eyes of this big man, deciding he trusted him enough he confided the name. Cullen nodded, "you will never see this man again." He had been true to his word, after beating the living shit out of him, he had overseen his execution personally. "Let it be known" he boomed at the Templars he had gathered to watch. "This is the punishment for abusing the charges in our care." His people had nodded nervously they had never seen the Knight Captain so furious. Cullen had now taken to patrolling the halls, looking for any signs of abuse.

Bethany heard about Cullen's actions, she was proud of him and wished to tell him. But she didn't, it would be futile, they could have no future.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

Life meandered on, occasionally Bethany would hear of some her brother's exploits and wished that he would come and visit her. She wondered why he never did, she had expected him to at least come and see her after their mother's death. But he had never approached her. She knew the arguments between Meredith and Orsino had become more heated. Templars had taken to scrutinizing their every move. She was no longer allowed to visit the markets and all of them had been confined to their quarters. Whispers of Meredith's madness flew around, making the mages shiver in fear. Cullen could say there should be no abuses, but Meredith outranked him and soon his good work was in tatters. Templars did as they pleased and the mages had to rely on the ones that bore them no ill will to survive.

Cullen had taken to standing back in the Gallows. Hawke stopped and asked him if he still supported Meredith. Cullen had spouted the official line of the order, he did empathise with the Knight Commander her job was not easy. But he had seen the beginnings of madness in her eyes. He came close to confiding this in Hawke, merely saying that he could see where the rumours were coming from. The two men had come to respect each other over the years, and Cullen felt he could speak somewhat freely. "I fear that the purpose of the order is not the same." Cullen was saying sadly. Hawke looked at him, seeing the dark shadows under his eyes, he truly felt sorry for him. A lot of his anger at Cullen had faded, he knew the man had just been doing what he thought was right. He still missed his sister terribly and asked himself why he never went to visit her. He didn't know why, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

Bethany was busy tidying her room for the daily inspection, when two Templars approached her. She smiled recognising them as being somewhat friendly. "The Knight Commander requests your presence." Bethany was surprised and nervous, what could the Knight Commander possibly want with her. She turned away trying to collect herself, then everything went black.

Cullen was standing in his usual spot, watching the bustle of the marketplace, thoroughly bored when a tranquil came up to him. "I have a message for you Knight Captain Cullen" his voice a creepy monotone. "What is it?" he asked sharply, wanting nothing more than him to go away. They unnerved him, always had. "There have been reports of a rogue Templar/mage group operating out of the Wounded Coast. It seems they have abducted a young mage and taken her there." Cullen stared open mouthed "which mage has been abducted" he demanded. "I am afraid I do not know the name, it was not given in the message" his task completed the tranquil moved calmly away. Cullen groaned, what next he thought. Selecting some Templars to come with him he quickly made his way there.

Bethany groaned, the fog lifted and she awoke, surprised to find herself at the coast, surrounded by dead bodies. She stood up and saw her brother standing there looking relieved. "Brother, the last thing I remember is a couple of Templars coming to my room" she exclaimed. "I am so glad you are alright" Garrett said. "I promise I will never let anything like this happen to you again." She smiled at him, genuinely pleased to see him "it's good to know you are still looking out for me." Before they had any more time to speak Cullen appeared with his men. "I trust you were here to stop these traitors and not join them?" he queried stiffly. He had seen who the kidnapped mage was she was pale and somewhat hunched over. Before he could answer a young man stood forward "The Champion is a good man Ser. He tried to solve this peacefully." Cullen nodded. "Take the blood mage away for questioning" he ordered sharply, trying not to look at Bethany too closely. "Alain stood up to his elders when they would kill an innocent hostage" Hawke protested. "You mean he was one of them until he had a convenient change of heart" Cullen snorted. If they had harmed one hair on her head, he would see them all dead. "Do you have any recommendations for the Knight Commander?" he looked at Hawke. "Be merciful" her always kind hearted brother replied. Bethany moved slowly over to the Templars, she felt utterly terrible. Cullen seeing her pain scooped her up in his arms and carried her back to the Circle. She did not protest enjoying the closeness to him while she could.

As soon as they got back, they had been ordered into the Knight Commander's office. Bethany was questioned until she fell out of the chair in exhaustion. Cullen once again gathered her up in his arms and personally put her to bed. As he looked down on her ashen face, a feeling of intense tenderness welled up. He swore to himself, she may want him to stay away from her, but that wouldn't stop him from protecting her. He sat by her bed until she started to stir, he quickly got up and left, not wanting her to know he had been sitting there with her. Bethany awoke with a start, she could have sworn Cullen was close by but when she looked around he was not. Closing her eyes and drifting back into a fitful sleep she decided that it must have been wishful thinking.

Bethany sat on her bed, completely and utterly bored, being confined to her quarters was proving tiresome. Their freedom had always been minimal but she missed being able to at least wander around the Circle. She had heard the mutinous rumblings, but the other mages not sure of her relationship to the Knight Captain didn't confide any plans. She had never felt so lonely. She thought often of Elthina's words, trying to savour small joys, it was hard when there were only the bars and walls to look at. Trying to cheer herself up she took out the things she had removed from her room, taking pleasure in trying to make it look more cheerful. She looked around satisfied with her efforts. They still reminded her of Cullen but instead of causing her pain she now viewed it as a way of being closer to him. She smiled, happy that she no longer saw him as a cold blooded killer.

Cullen was again in the courtyard deep in thought. He knew the conflict between the mages and the Templars was about to erupt. He wanted more than anything to just run. But he could not leave Bethany to face what was to come alone. He knew that soon he wouldn't be able to keep sitting on the fence. Something he had taken to doing lately. His years of training told him that he needed to help Meredith keep order and quell the rebellion but his heart was demanding that he do what he knew was right. He felt tired, more tired than he could ever remember. Every night he went to sleep hoping that he would not wake up it was a coward's wish. He still had much to atone for.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

Bethany was being shaken roughly she sat up her hand in front of her ready to strike down whatever it was that was attacking her. A fellow mages voice stayed her hand "quickly Bethany, the First Enchanter and the Knight Commander are arguing again. I fear it will soon come to violence. You may be able to calm him. He listens to you." Bethany jumped out of bed, pulling on her robes quickly she chased after the concerned mage. Unfortunately the mage's predictions were all too true. Orsino and Meredith were opposite each other, arguing heatedly, fire spat from both their eyes and contempt from their lips. "You cannot do this Meredith. I will not allow you to invade our privacy in such a way." Meredith stared at Orsino, madness tinging her eyes. "You cannot stop me Orsino, there is corruption everywhere and I will not stop until I see it gone. I know you are harbouring blood mages." Orsino let out a noise of pure exasperation "blood magic. Where do you not see blood magic? Our people cannot sneeze without you accusing them of corruption." He shook his head sadly. "Do not trifle with me mage" Meredith snapped. Bethany was relieved to see Garrett come running up. "Honestly the way you two carry on, people will begin to talk" her brother said, trying to ease some of the tension. "This has nothing to do with you Champion" Meredith said. "I asked him to come, he needs to see this madness for himself" Orsino stepped to Garrett's side. Her brother looked from the one to the other, "I am sorry Meredith but I agree with Orsino." She shook her head. Orsino stepped away "it does not matter the Grand Cleric will put an end to this" he moved in the direction of the Chantry. "You will not bring Her Grace into this" Meredith was grabbing at his arm.

Suddenly Anders stepped forward "the Grand Cleric cannot help you" he announced dramatically. "Explain yourself mage" Meredith demanded angrily. "I cannot stand by and watch the abuses of the Templars, while those who are supposed to lead us bow to our Templar jailers." Orsino frowned "how dare you speak to…" Anders cut him off "the circle has failed us Orsino, surely you can see that. I removed the chance of compromise as there can be no compromise. There can be no peace" he turned away his face troubled, "Anders what you done?" Garrett asked his usual sure voice hesitant. Anders slammed his staff to the ground setting off an ominous rumbling. Everyone stopped unsure of what was happening, but they all knew that it wasn't good. A bright pink light flared from the centre of the Chantry roof, spreading out. Bricks and mortar flew in every direction as they all stood rooted to the spot staring in horror around them. "Maker have mercy" Meredith breathed. Orsino moved forward "what have you done? You have doomed us all" he yelled at Anders. "The Grand Cleric has been slain by magic. I hereby invoke the rite of annulment" Meredith's voice rang out bringing everyone out of their shocked reverie. Bethany heard the frightened murmurs of the mages around her. Her mind screamed no. Orsino whirled to face her "no Meredith you cannot do this, the Circle had nothing to do with it." Meredith waved her hands angrily at him "it does not matter, the people will demand retribution and I will give it to them." Sebastian spoke up his cries of distress at Elthina's murder had gone unheard by most of them. "Why are we arguing the rite of annulment when the monster that did this is standing right here?" Anders was slumped forward he turned to Hawke "you must choose a side." They stared at him waiting to see what he would do. He looked at Orsino "it will be hard but I will defend you." Orsino looked as if he was about to cry "thank the Maker" he muttered. Meredith shook her head, "you are no mage but you will share their fate. Kill them all."

Cullen watched what had transpired horrified that things had come to a head in such massively violent way. He shuddered when he heard Meredith invoke the rite of annulment. No his mind and heart cried out for once in agreement. I will not slay anymore innocent mages. He pressed himself up against the wall unable to choose a side. He watched the battle to the death, breathing with relief when he saw Bethany unharmed. He wanted to run to her, grab her hand and drag her away from this madness. But he knew she would not leave her people.

Orsino was looking around him at the carnage in dismay. "For it to have come to this" he shook his head sadly. "I am going to the Gallows I will leave… your friend for you to deal with." With that he hurried away, Bethany and the other mages following. Bethany's mind was in disarray, she was still having a hard time registering everything that had happened. Out of everything though her mind was focussed on one thing, she was now directly pitted against the man she loved. Oh Maker why had she not gone to him, told him she had forgiven him? So much time wasted in self-pity, now she may never have the chance.

Cullen ran when he heard Orsino declare they were going to the Gallows, he didn't wait to see what happened to the terrorist mage. He ran to where he knew Bethany would be. Cullen found himself helping mages to flee, distracting patrols of Templars so some of them could get away. He only put his sword to the ones who became abominations or who actively attacked him. After what seemed like an eternity the Gallows was before him. He ran up in a last desperate bid to stop this madness once and for all. Cullen was aghast at the usual peaceful courtyard having been so obviously turned into a killing field. He raced to Meredith, coming to a stumbling stop when he saw the pure madness in her eyes. Before he could speak Hawke, Bethany and the rest came running into the courtyard. Meredith glared at them, "kill them" she shrilled. Cullen stepped forward his mind fumbling for something "I thought we only intended to arrest the Champion" he said. She had said no such thing her plan had always been to kill him he hoped desperately that she would not remember. Her eyes seemed to be going red. Surely it was only the light of the numerous fires reflected in her eyes. Meredith drew her sword causing Cullen to put his hands up in a placating gesture, it glowed the same eerie red as her eyes "pure lyrium, surely you recognise it?" she asked Hawke. "The dwarf charged much for his prize." Hawke stared in wonder "it looked less pointy the last time I saw it" he remarked, humour his only defence. "It sent him mad Meredith" he warned. "The dwarf was weak while I am not" she scoffed.

Bethany stood completely still her mind still reeling and her heart was broken from when she had seen Orsino turn to blood magic and becoming some strange abomination she had never seen before. She was exhausted it had been an arduous battle, just when she thought they had defeated him, he became another creature, as well as summoning the un-dead and demons from the fade. When she saw the sword get drawn on Cullen she had involuntarily stepped forward ready to protect him. She didn't know if he had followed the orders, somehow she didn't think he had. She didn't care, she would only know if they both lived and wanted to ask him before condemning him.

Cullen saw with sudden clarity what he must do "This is not what the order stands for I am relieving you of your command. Step down" he demanded. "My own Knight Captain falls to the lure of blood magic. Fine I will kill you all myself" her voice was strangely calm. Cullen drew his sword on her "you will have to go through me first." Meredith's eyes narrowed "idiot boy, just like all the others."

The fight was one of the strangest any of them had fought. The slave statues came to life under Meredith's command. She leaped around unnaturally as red lyrium flames trapped them in the courtyard. Cullen heard Bethany gasping for breath as she flung attack after attack. He was surprised to see Anders still alive, but grateful as his healing and revitalising magic kept them all going. Bethany was doing her best to help keep them alive as well. Meredith had been ranting but he had barely registered the madness of her words. Hawke threw him a healing potion as he ran past and Cullen deftly caught it on his shield, tucking it up the sleeve of his armour. Finally Meredith stumbled back and they surrounded her ready to strike her down once and for all. She drove her sword into the ground demanding help from the Maker. They came to a standstill as red cracks formed throughout her face and body, red light streaked from every part of her. She screamed in agony as more red light issued from her mouth in a fiery beam. Her cries ceased as she seemed to become a lyrium idol herself.

The group stood not knowing whether to believe their eyes, a Templar ran forward, dropping to her knees in front of Meredith she inspected her for signs of life. Templars moved in surrounding the Champion and his friends. They all stood there facing off, ready to do battle. Hawke issued Cullen a challenge with his eyes. Cullen stood back, motioning for everyone else to do the same. He watched as they walked away, his heart heavy as Bethany was with them. Cullen came to a decision, he would help restore some order and then he was leaving. The order was not for him anymore. He didn't know what he would do, but he could not stay and work for an ideal he no longer believed in.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

Bethany stopped before the boat they were about to embark on, grabbing Garrett's arm "there is something I must do, I will meet you at the camp" she ran off with him calling her name uselessly behind her as she disappeared behind a veil of smoke. Making her way back to the Gallows, her movement quick and graceful, she knew she was taking a huge risk by going back. More Templars were coming and they would not hesitate to strike down a lone mage but there was something that had been forgotten in the frenzy of battle. The children of the circle, imagining them trapped and fearful she could not abandon them.

Cullen saw a familiar blue flash of robes, the graceful movement catching his eye. He shook his head sure his eyes were playing tricks on him. No there it was he saw it again. Following quickly he tried to figure out why she come back, for him perhaps, no she had not tried to approach him there was another purpose for her return. He followed her, his sword drawn, ready to strike down any danger to her. He heard a muffled cry of anguish, running closer he saw her huddled body on the floor, sobs tearing from her, surrounded by the bodies of the children. "I will kill him I swear to the Maker I will strike that abomination down" he was chilled to hear her words of vengeance. He knelt next to her placing an arm hesitantly around her shoulders she looked up knowing it was Cullen. She buried her head in his chest and wept at the injustice surrounding her. He didn't know how long they sat there like that but hearing insistent thumps of armoured boots he pulled her to her feet. "We must leave" he whispered urgently.

Templars flooded through the door so Cullen whirled her around gathering her hands behind her he drew his sword pointing it to her throat. "Trust me" he whispered hearing her terrified moan. "This one is mine" he cried out to them marching her unceremoniously past them. They moved out of his way letting them pass unhindered. "I can't believe that worked" Bethany said as they walked the dirt trails to where her brother was camping. The rest of their escape had been uneventful, Templars seeing the Knight Captain escorting a mage at sword point was not surprising given the circumstances. "I can" Cullen said drily "most Templars are not known for independent thought." Bethany stopped walking "is something wrong? Cullen asked worried that she may have been hurt. "It's just these ridiculous robes, Maker I hate them" Bethany was bending down tugging at the long hem. She found a small rip and at her knee tugging at it, it came free making them a lot shorter. Cullen looked on in amusement taking the chance to admire her beautiful legs.

They came upon the camp, surprising the inhabitants with the sight of the burly Templar standing with Bethany. Anders stood his eyes glowing blue. Bethany strode towards him planting her fist squarely on his jaw the attack taking everybody by surprise. "You bastard" she screamed "all of the children, dead, by your hand. Where is their justice you foul abomination?" She continued to pummel him with her fists. As Anders wasn't defending himself she decided that she wasn't causing him enough pain so she produced her staff only stopping from striking him down when Cullen placed his hand on her shoulder. "There has been enough death for one night, don't you think my love?" he asked his voice calm. Stepping back her shoulders and head drooped. Placing her staff on the ground she stared piercingly at Anders "I will make you pay for what you have done" she muttered threateningly.

Cullen drew her away from the others placing his arms around her she found that Anders was pushed momentarily from her mind. "There is something I have wanted to say, but couldn't quite muster the courage. I love you Bethany more than I can say" his words coated her heart in joy she smiled demurely at him "and I love you Cullen." He stroked her hair "I must know how you came to forgive me?" She stepped out of his embrace pulling him to sit beside her on a fallen log "it was after mother was killed. I started to wonder about the dangers of magic myself if perhaps the Chantry was right and we are all dangerous and needed to be locked away." Cullen shook his head "that's…" she placed a finger against his lips. "Let me finish. I understood then how you could have been so afraid, so angry. To see the people you cared about and for used in such a merciless way. To have them delving into your mind, no wonder you went mad" her hand fell to his. "What matters Cullen is that you fought your way back to become the wonderful man that you are. I wish I had seen it earlier" she paused. "You know my sweet, as awful as all this is, and as bad as it is probably going to get I am glad it happened" she looked at him guiltily. "You are glad?" he wondered how that could be. "Yes, it's purely selfish of course. If things had stayed the way they were we would never have been able to have a future. We both would have remained locked in the Gallows only able to have stolen moments. This way we can be together as the Maker would have intended" she laughed self-consciously. "Maker I must sound awful after what we just witnessed…" her voice was full of guilt. Cullen touched her face "their deaths will not be in vain. When we are finished no child will be taken from their mother." He said gravely. "But yes pure selfishness makes me happy that we can be together" he grinned. "Sometimes you have to take the joy where you can find it." Bethany smiled wistfully "Grand Cleric Elthina told me much the same thing once." Her face creased angrily at the thought of the kind woman's unnecessary death.

"Know this Bethany" his voice shook with emotion "no matter what life brings us, we will see it through together. I will never let you go again" he kissed her showing the truth of his words. He lay down on a bed of leaves taking her down with him, they lay facing each other their tongues exploring the other's mouth. "Cullen I have to tell you something…" she sighed nervously "I have never… you know…." He trailed his fingertips down her neck producing small shivers "well that makes two of us then" he said somewhat embarrassedly. "Well then we have much to learn from each other" she whispered into his ear. "Maker, but this armour is frustrating" Bethany groaned eager to get her hands on him. Cullen laughed as he happily helped her divest him of the heavy armour.

Garrett and the others heard the rustling of the leaves, her brother stood meaning to investigate but Isabela's hand stopped him "leave them be" she said moving him away.

The next day Bethany gave her brother an ultimatum "either Cullen and I stay with you to fight or Justice and Anders does. I will not… no I cannot abide having that thing near me. I will kill him Garrett." Her brother nodded, he was not about to risk losing his sister again. She heard him banish Anders from their group. He left quietly his head hanging. "He has much to atone for" Cullen remarked.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

A few months ago the sight of such a ragged group of people would have sent the citizens of Thedas running for their homes in fright believing them to be a group of raiders. But with the war that had been raging between the mages and the Chantry such groups were common place. Their armour was streaked with the blood of many battles and their steps were slow betraying just how tired they were. Still they made a curious sight, humans, elves and dwarves working together were still rare. People had become used to seeing mages and those who were once Templars fighting side by side so seeing the ex-Knight Captain travelling with them beggared nothing more than a second glance.

Cullen glanced at his fellow travellers thinking how once he would have been on the other side of them, fighting against them to round up mages and send them back to the Circle. His own experiences and the love of a beautiful mage had made him see differently and now he was happy to be part of something so important. Freedom for all mages had been the rallying cry of their group and of so many others, striking down those who would be their jailers with self-righteous anger. He looked up seeing a motley group of tents and shelters set up in the middle of nowhere. He was not surprised by the sight as they had seen many camps such as these.

They dragged themselves to one of the makeshift tents that had been set up in the refugee camp hoping to find a meal and perhaps somewhere safe to rest. To their delight they found Bodahn and Sandal selling their wares. Garrett Hawke rushed up to them excitedly as he had often worried about what had happened to them after that last fateful night in Kirkwall when they had all had to flee for their lives. "Bodahn, Sandal you live" he cried spreading his arms open wide to encompass them in a huge hug. The dwarves laughed with the same glee not at all embarrassed by the obvious show of affection. "Master Hawke, it is good to see you well" Bodahn exclaimed disentangling himself to look him over. Sandal was jumping up and down on the spot yelling "enchantment, enchantment" his voice was excited and Cullen became afraid that the poor boy would hurt himself in his elation. Bethany and Cullen hung back as the others moved forward to greet the two that had been a fixture in the Hawke household for many years. They had never met them what with Bethany being taken to the Circle in Kirkwall after her brother's Deep Roads expedition and Cullen having been pretty much trapped there too but for different reasons. Introductions were made and once everyone settled down after the initial buzz, the tiredness crept back into their bones. Bodahn seeing this moved forward taking charge, he organised them a meal and found them some old cloths with which they could make a shelter. After directing the group to a nearby stream where they could wash up he moved back to his stall preparing to help other weary travellers.

Bethany and Cullen had moved away from the others so they could strip down and get clean. Grabbing the rough soap they had managed to find they moved into the cold water, shivering at its touch against their bare skin. After the first shock of the cold they adjusted and started frolicking playfully throwing the soap back and forth finally feeling somewhat more human. Bethany screeched as a wave of water splashed over the back of her head, hearing Cullen laugh mischievously she gave chase quickly catching up to him and pulling him under. They found themselves soapy and wet tangled up in a passionate embrace. Cullen marvelled at how their relationship seemed to go from strength to strength regardless of the hardship they faced every day. They soon dragged themselves out of the stream, rubbing themselves dry with coarse towels. Wrapping the cloth around them they propped themselves under a tree as they waited for their previously washed underclothes and armour to dry. "You know Bethany" Cullen started slowly "after this is over perhaps we should marry" he had thought about this many times but had not wanted to broach the subject given the circumstances. She arched an eyebrow at him "perhaps?" the word came as a question. "You had better marry me, or I will hunt you down and set you on fire" she poked her tongue out at him. He chuckled deeply "well we can't have that then can we?" Isabela's voice startled them causing them both to wonder how long she had been there. "You know, if we still had my ship I could marry you" she stated. "I was Captain, we are allowed to marry people" she said defensively seeing their derisive looks. "Yes, I have heard of that" Cullen said, looking around as if hoping to spy a ship. "Oh look at the poor sweet man, so desperately wanting to be joined in the eyes of the Maker" Isabela's tone was slightly mocking. "Shut up Issy" Bethany said shortly. Isabela enjoyed teasing Cullen mercilessly about his faith as it was one Isabela didn't share being from Rivain. The sun started to dip below the horizon, feeling their clothes and ascertaining that they were mostly dry Bethany shooed Isabela away so they could dress.

As they made their way to their shelter Bethany spotted Aveline standing by herself looking utterly miserable. She broke away from the others "What's the matter Aveline?" Bethany's voice was concerned for her friend. "I miss Donnic terribly. I do not know if he is even alive." Aveline was clutching a piece of parchment in her hand. "I must go back and look for him." Bethany sucked her breath in "it could be a death sentence though Aveline." "I know" she shrugged hopelessly before squaring her shoulders.

The group assembled at their shelter, making plans on where they should go to next. Varric spoke up "I have some news" he started slowly, once he was sure he had their attention he continued "I have to go back to Kirkwall." They all looked at him aghast "why?" Garrett demanded, Varric was his closest friend and the thought of losing him to that Maker forsaken city angered him. "There has been talk of the Seekers of the Chantry being there. They will be hunting down certain members of our party. I hope to go there and put them on the wrong track." Garrett eyed him suspiciously "what can you possibly do to misdirect the Divine?" Varric shook his head "you underestimate me Hawke. The Seekers have been looking for me as well, they wish to hear my story and you know how I love to spin a tale." Garrett crossed his arms over his chest "still Varric, it would be senseless to go to them. How do you know they won't kill you on sight?" The dwarf shrugged "I don't. But I know this to be the right thing to do. I will be setting off at dawn." Garrett was not about to let him go easily "then I shall come…" Varric's face creased "No" he shouted, taking everyone by surprise. His usual even temper flaring. "You must finish what you started" forgetting momentarily that it had actually been Anders' actions that had begun the whole mess. "I am going back… alone." Aveline's spoke up "no you won't Varric. I have decided to return too, I must find out what happened to Donnic. I am sorry." She looked up expecting to see censure in their eyes but to her surprise she found nothing but understanding. "Then it is decided. We leave tomorrow at dawn" Varric said relieved to have the capable woman traveling with him. Garrett hung his head "I will miss you both." "No Garrett, we will all miss them both" Bethany sounded near tears.


	14. Chapter 14

14.

Their group felt much smaller with the larger than life dwarf and the ex-Guard Captain gone. Cullen missed Varric's outrageous stories even though some of them had made him want to blush and he had had to restrain himself from covering Bethany's ears at times. She didn't appreciate being treated like a chaste flower. He knew Bethany missed Aveline's stoic manner and unshakeable good sense. He looked at her amazed at how she had not seemed to have aged in the years since he had first spied her in the Gallows. He wondered if it was the magic she carried, but he had seen other mages their faces weathered and beaten by the war. He didn't know and didn't much care she was his beautiful perfect rose in the middle of much destruction. All things considered he felt himself to be a very lucky man. Whichever way this whole thing played out he would always be proud to be a part of it.

Merrill's and Fenris' voice broke through his consciousness, he sighed sick of hearing them argue. He couldn't quite figure Fenris out. He hated mages yet travelled with them fighting for their cause. "Stop Fenris" Merrill sounded near tears. "I know you disagree with my choices, but what has been done can't be undone." Fenris stared stonily at her "No, it can't" he growled with his strangely deep voice. The first time Cullen had heard him talk he had stared in surprise amazed that such a deep rumbling could come from such a slight being. Cullen quite liked him though at first was wary that his hatred of all things magical may one day extend to Bethany. Fenris made it clear to all of them though that he had the utmost respect for Bethany seeing her as the strongest mage he had ever met. His feelings for Merrill were another thing entirely. "Why don't you two just get it over with and kiss?" Garrett's voice was snarky, he too was sick of hearing them fight. The joke had the desired effect making them both clamp their lips together.

Suddenly Isabela stopped and was looking around her warily "there is something…." her words were cut off by the appearance of a heavily armed group emerging from the bushes. "It's them" one of them shouted drawing his sword. Cullen and the others fanned out quickly drawing their weapons. Fenris started pulsing blue and pushed his hand through the chest of the nearest bandit triumphantly ripping out his heart. Cullen shuddered what a way to go he thought not for the first time, having witnessed it before. His sword moved quickly dealing fire damage from the rune Sandal had put there before they had left. He felt the sizzle of magic at his back and heard Bethany cry out "leave my man alone" he grinned loving that she always had his back. "Pull back, pull back" she shouted they ran leaving the bandits confused standing in a group not sure what was going on. Fireballs fell from the sky and Cullen winced at the sounds of their agonised screams and the smell of burning human flesh. The battle ended quickly and he spied one of the bandits moving painfully on the ground. "These are not merely bandits" he announced moving over to the huddled form. Flipping the bandit over with his foot he ignored the moans of pain "who sent you?" he demanded placing his sword across her throat. "Mercy, Ser mercy" she groaned. Cullen shook his head "who sent you?" he repeated impatiently. "I do not know their names only that they are from Tevinter" he heard Fenris growl. "Where did you get this task?" Cullen barked. "There is a camp, due east from here. You cannot miss it." Cullen dropped her head back to the ground running his sword through her heart before turning to the others. "Due east it is then" Garrett said. Fenris was pacing angrily, "Danarius is dead. Who else would be after me?" Bethany placed her hand on his arm "perhaps they are not after you Fenris. There are other reasons…." Fenris shook her hand away "of course they are after me, they will always be after me for as long as I live."

They travelled east looking for any signs of other ambushes. Spying the small encampment Isabela and Garrett scouted ahead of them. Cullen and the others remained out of sight waiting for them to return. After quite some time Bethany became worried "it has been too long. I fear they have been captured, we must…." She stopped talking breathing a sigh of relief when Garrett and Isabela returned. "Well?" Fenris demanded impatiently "what did you find?" Garrett held a piece of parchment in his hand "I am afraid you are right Fenris. They are indeed here for you" his tone was apologetic. He passed the parchment to him. "Garrett" Bethany hissed at him taking the paper from Fenris. She read aloud masking the elf's embarrassment at not being able to read. "Reward for the murderer of my brother" a crudely drawn picture of Fenris was underneath. "His sister" Fenris breathed "I had forgotten about her, of course she would come for me." "Whoever drew this was no artist" Cullen said randomly. "We must burn this camp to the ground" Isabela's eyes flashed. She valued the ideal of freedom highly and would die before she returned anyone to chains. They all nodded in agreement making quick plans of attack.

After waiting for the cover of night the guards posted at the entrance of the camp were taken out quickly by Isabela's and Garrett's expert stealth. Bethany had wanted to rain fire down to take them by surprise but the idea had been dismissed as they didn't know if there were any innocents there. Isabela and Garrett took out as many as they could with surprise attacks before their presence was discovered. Hearing the bird call that signified it was time for them to attack they ran in from different directions, leaving the slavers floundering not sure which way to direct their attacks. Bethany and Merrill concentrated on the other mages, removing the chance of them keeping their enemies healed. Cullen and Fenris moved quickly cutting down anyone that got in their way quickly and efficiently. Garrett and Isabela kept others in a state of confusion appearing behind them from what seemed like nowhere slicing their sharp daggers into their backs before disappearing just as quickly. Soon the group stood breathing heavily from their exertions surrounded by corpses, the smell of magic lingering in the air.

Fenris strode over to a chest cursing when he found it was locked. Isabela moved next to him expertly sliding her knife in, she wiggled it around sighing with pleasure when she heard the barrels slide back. Opening it up Fenris scowled at the mess of papers it contained silently cursing his inability to read. Isabela took them out handing an even amount out to each of them. They crouched around a fire trying to make out the scribbled words in the dim light. Fenris scoured the rest of the camp looking for clues. To his intense disappointment Danarius' sister had not been there and he knew that while she lived he would never be free. Will it ever end? The words kept playing through his mind like a mantra threatening to send him to the brink of madness. "His sister is in Orlais" Garrett told him. Fenris nodded "then I must go there. I must keep trying to end it although I fear I never shall be able" his voice held more sadness than anger. He had enjoyed being part of this group. They were kind and understanding people and he had come to view them as his family. He thought back to the night after they had fled Kirkwall. He had decided to leave the next day unable to reconcile himself to the idea of continuing to travel and fight with Anders. He had stood just as shocked as the rest of them when Bethany had marched over to Anders attacking him with her words and fists. Still he had thought they would allow the abomination to stay. He had watched with an unaccustomed feeling of happiness in his chest as Anders had been banished from the camp. He could remain with them and not be alone and for that he had fallen in love with Bethany a little. But they had their own battle to fight and as much as he hated to leave them he knew he must.

They scavenged what they could carry from the camp. Finding robes and armour everywhere they replaced their damaged and tattered ones. Cullen saw that Garrett had found a new dagger and was shining it a smile playing on his lips as he admired it. Cullen picked up a shield inspecting it for damage, deciding it was in far better condition than the one he had he slung it on his back. He wasn't going to replace his sword not after Sandal had so lovingly enchanted it for him. Stuffing jewels and coins in their bags they settled in for the night. They took it in turns to guard the camp in pairs. Fenris had asked to pair with Garrett stating that he needed to speak with him. Merrill sighed with relief, since Varric and Aveline had left she usually ended up on duty with Fenris and she wasn't in the mood to deal with his snide remarks.

"What did you need to speak with me about Fenris?" Garrett asked "it had better be important as you are interfering with mine and Isabela's alone time you know?" Fenris smiled "and for that I apologise. You know I must leave now?" Garrett moved his shoulders trying to ease some of the tension in them "I had guessed as much. But it saddens me nonetheless. We can come with you, you know?" Fenris shook his head "no, you have your own battle to fight that is much more important." Garrett sucked on his lower lip "you know Fenris, I have been curious as to why you have stayed. I know your feelings on mages and whilst I have enjoyed having you with us and been grateful for your help I still don't understand your motivation." Fenris considered the question "I was going to leave the day after we fled Kirkwall. But seeing Bethany take a stand against Anders shifted my opinion of mages somewhat. I don't know if they should all be free, but caging Bethany would be a crime against nature." His head was low causing his hair to hide his face. "You love her?" Garrett asked astonished as the elf had never betrayed his feelings. "My feelings are neither here nor there. I must leave to attend to this business. Just know as soon as I am done I will come looking for you and I will help to finish this." Garrett clapped his hand on Fenris' shoulder "I will miss you my friend." Fenris returned the gesture "and I you." Fenris left before the others awoke not wanting the protracted goodbyes.


	15. Chapter 15

15.

"You know" Isabela said "this is the worst war ever." "There are good ones?" Cullen laughed. "I mean smarty this is the most unorganised war ever. It just seems to be isolated battles, nothing of note can be accomplished this way. The Divine will win before it has begun." her words held uncharacteristic wisdom. Merrill looked at them "what we need to do is unite people under the one banner." Garrett nodded slowly "yes, many of the Circles have fallen but at great cost. If the Divine's army decides to strike all will be lost." He looked defeated, not something they were used to seeing in their fearless leader. "Perhaps I could appeal to one of the Dalish clans. I heard tell there is one near here" Merrill said thoughtfully. "Where did you hear that?" Bethany enquired. "Around" Merrill replied mysteriously. "Well that's a clear answer" Garrett snapped. "It does not matter where I heard it, could we go and see them, I mean if it is alright with you, I could maybe ask them to help. They probably won't but we can only ask…." Garrett held up his hand "you're babbling again Merrill" he smiled at her gently. She had come back out of the shell Fenris' constant criticism had pushed her in. "Where are they?" Cullen interjected. "Why, in the dales silly" Merrill was shocked at such a seemingly stupid question. "Of course" Cullen sighed "but where in the dales?" "Oh I don't know, but it shouldn't be hard to find them" she was smiling at the thought of meeting with her people and was practically dancing on the spot. "You should have gone before we left" Isabela remarked making fun of her hopping. "What… oh very funny Issy" Merrill laughed. "Well off to find the Dalish then" Garrett said "I hope they are friendlier than the last lot." Merrill sighed "as do I Garrett, as do I."

Merrill tracked the Dalish easily, knowing the signs that they left for others of their kind to find them. They kept their hands firmly away from their weapons just in case they were being watched and finally saw the patrician features of two guards. Merrill was leading the group and stopped before the guards "I would like to request a meeting with The Keeper if I may" she asked politely. The guards peered at them suspiciously "you are clearly one of us" one of them said pointing to her face markings "what happened to the clan you were in?" Merrill shifted from one foot to the other unsure of how to answer. Garrett stepped forward "Merrill was displaced from her clan" he said smoothly. "May we see The Keeper we have business of some import to discuss with her?" The same guard held up his hand "wait here shemlen we will see if she will agree to meet with you." The guard moved away ordering the other guard to watch them carefully. He soon returned "she has agreed to your request, you will find her near the back of the camp. Tread carefully, we are watching you." With that he moved aside letting them pass.

Halla moved gracefully among the tall grass stopping nervously as the strangers passed them. Aravel's creaked softly in the breeze and they could hear the steady thump of arrows hitting wooden targets as the hunters practised their skills. They saw the unmistakable figure of The Keeper standing slightly apart from the others, a staff attached to her back. Merrill approached her first dipping her knee "hello Keeper it is an honour" she said the words in the Dalish dialect making the others shrug their shoulders at each other. Garrett moved forward "Thank you for receiving us Keeper" he bowed showing his esteem for her title. The Keeper scrutinised them slowly with her almond shaped grey eyes "it is unusual to receive such visitors especially ones that show us respect. Tell me young one what brings you here?" The lilt of her accent was melodic and her head was tilted slightly. "Keeper we have come to ask if you know of the war that is raging across the land?" Merrill asked quietly. "Yes my child, it is hard to miss the constant sounds of battle" the Keeper waved her hand towards the horizon. "If you have come to ask for assistance I am afraid there is not much we can do. As you can see our clan is small and I feel that we could be of no real assistance. Sadly we are even lacking a First." Merrill's face betrayed hope at this news. Garrett spoke again "Merrill isn't that what you were?" She nodded sadly remembering the events that led to her leaving. "How did you come to leave your clan then child?" A look of pure shame crossed Merrill's face and it was only Garrett's hand on her back that stopped her from fleeing. "It would seem we have much to discuss Merrill, please if you would come with me" the Keeper looked at the others "feel free to make yourselves at home. If you need any supplies our craftsman is over there" she said pointing to a busy elf. She gently took Merrill's arm and moved her away.

Much later Merrill approached them looking happier than they had ever seen her "she has asked me to stay to be her First, I told her everything and she said that by working here and building this clan I can attain some forgiveness from the Creators" she breathed. "I know I said I would help you and I still can. I will try and convince them that your cause is worthy. Please allow me to stay." Garrett looked at her happy face "Merrill we never forced you to come with us. You are free to come and go as you please. I am happy that you have found a place here and if you can convince them to help in any way we would be grateful." Merrill impulsively hugged him almost knocking him over. "You have all been true friends and it has been my honour to know you."


	16. Chapter 16

16.

"This is hopeless" Garrett kicked the dirt with his foot. "I can't even keep a small group together what hope do I have of uniting anyone for anything." He continued kicking the dirt looking miserable and lost. Isabela, Bethany and Cullen stood back quietly letting him vent. "What can we even do? Cities have all but fallen and people are fleeing for their lives everywhere while others lay them down for a cause we cannot win because we remain fragmented." He was digging quite the hole with his toes. Cullen rubbed his hand over the back of his head, silently he agreed. It did honestly seem utterly hopeless.

At the start they had been hopeful and had travelled to Starkhaven hoping to find Sebastian and convince him to help. Garrett had told of his threats when he refused to kill Anders but with Anders gone and Sebastian hopefully having had time to calm down they had gone to try and find him. To their dismay they had found no sign of him. His bid to reclaim his lands had come too late and he had been chased out of the province by the new King's army with threats of death if he tried to return.

Going to Tevinter had been out of the question while Fenris was with them as they didn't want to risk his freedom being taken. Also the idea of working with a slaving city was, to them, as attractive as making a deal with a demon. There was no point going to Orzammar as the dwarves cared little for problems with magic, not having any within their race. The Dalish clans were engaged in their own bid for survival and would care not for the problems of a race that had done much harm to theirs.

Garrett had fallen to silence looking hopelessly around them. "Let's go to Rivain" Isabela said. "Rivain? why Rivain?" Garrett asked "because they have no fear of magic and they do not believe in the Maker. If we can convince them that this war threatens us all they may act." Garrett thought on this for a moment "who would we even go see?" Isabela eyes sparkled at the thought of going home "I do not know, but it is something we can find out when we are there. What do you say?" she looked around at them hopefully. "It is as good an idea as any other" Cullen agreed. Bethany was thinking too "or we could go back to Ferelden as King Alistair is sympathetic to the mage cause." Garrett nodded this was true. "So, which one then?" he asked. "We want to unite as many people as we can right?" Bethany asked. The others all moved their heads in agreement. "You and Isabela go to Rivain while Cullen and I go to Ferelden." Garrett shook his head "no Bethany it is far too dangerous for us all to be separated." "Cullen and I are perfectly capable of looking after ourselves" Bethany sighed with frustration. "It's not Cullen I am worried about" Garret's protectiveness was flaring. "Pfft thanks a lot" Cullen snorted in mock indignation. "Here I was thinking you cared" they all laughed. "It is settled then, we shall go our separate ways and do what we can to get this war moving along properly" Isabela announced. The foursome spent their last night together reminiscing over their previous exploits.

Later that night Garrett motioned to Cullen to join him away from the sleeping women. "That first night when you arrived with Bethany I honestly thought that perhaps she was your hostage." Cullen started in surprise "what? That's preposterous." "Not really if you think about it. You were the one who took her away and I had no idea the nature of your relationship." Cullen thought about it and had to agree that it was probably not as preposterous as he had thought. "But I have watched you and I can see that you love my sister deeply and to think of that dangerous infatuation she had with Anders." "What?" Cullen's voice was sharp with shock. "Oh you didn't know about that? Well it was a brief infatuation. She was young and naïve, having no idea of the implications of what he had done." Cullen's heart was beating rapidly the thought of his Bethany with that monster was making him wish he had let her strike him down that night. "Anyway I just wanted to say that all things considered it was probably a good thing that you took her away when you did. I could only have stopped it for so long." Cullen crossed his arms as he could see that Garrett had more to say. "I was so angry at you for it though. We had lost Carver and mother was so distraught with her only daughter gone…." He stopped appearing to be deep in thought. "I am glad you found each other. I cannot think of a better man for Bethany to live her life with" Garrett smiled at him and walked back to the fire.

The foursome said their goodbye's the next day. There was much hugging and tears flowed freely from both men and women as they knew that many dangers lay ahead for all of them and it could possibly be the last time they saw each other. Garrett embraced Cullen "goodbye brother and take care of her" he nodded in Bethany's direction. "Always… brother" Cullen replied.

17.

Bethany and Cullen looked around them in dismay at the state of their former home. The ground was still black with the taint and it looked as if nothing would ever grow in it again. The trek to Ferelden had been long and tiresome. Fighting off groups of raiders and rogue Templars on their own had been a lot harder than they could have imagined. More than once they both found themselves wishing for the aid of Fenris' blade or Garrett's and Isabela's daggers. A warrior and a mage made a fearsome couple but many times they found themselves outnumbered and it had only been through sheer luck that they were both still alive.

They found themselves in a tiny village many of the homes were burnt shells and beggars sat in the dirt their faces streaked from bitter tears holding out blackened hands. Children with their clothes in rags and feet encrusted with dirt ran up to them tugging at their clothes. "Do you have a coin Ser?" One of them pleaded his hungry eyes saying more than his words ever could. Cullen dropped coins they could ill afford into each of their hands their plight moving him no end. Hearing a shriek of terror behind them they whirled around and saw a small band of thugs moving in brandishing their swords. "Tax time" one of them yelled his eyes flashing sadistically. Bethany and Cullen were both outraged at the thugs taking advantage of these poor people. Cullen moved forward blocking their way "tax time? These people clearly have nothing. What could they possibly give you?" The man grinned showing black and broken teeth "these young pups here seem to have some coin." He waved his arm at the children that Cullen had just given money to. Bethany's amber eyes flashed "leave" she demanded. "Oooh look at the pretty lady ordering us around." He ran a dirty calloused hand over her face "we could have some real fun with you." Cullen grabbed the man by the scruff of the neck throwing him violently to the ground, furious at what he implied. Drawing his sword he neatly took the man's head from his shoulders. "Do I have any other takers?" he boomed irately. The cowards took to their heels and ran.

"I thought that things would have started to grow or something again by now. It has been many years since the Blight" Bethany was shocked. "I have heard that sometimes the land never recovers from the taint. Sadly things may never grow here again" Cullen said softly, saddened by what they had found. Bethany's shoulders shook and Cullen was alarmed to see her weeping heavily. He took her in his arms trying his best to comfort her. She had been so strong keeping their spirits up when there were times he could have laid down his sword and left the world to their problems. He stroked her hair "that's it my love just let it all out."

They found an abandoned barn to shelter in for the night it was surprisingly dry and there was enough straw to make a relatively comfortable bed. Cullen drew some cloths from their bags to use as blankets. He saw Bethany shivering and placed one gently around her shoulders "I had forgotten how cold it gets here" she said ruefully watching Cullen remove his heavy boots. He sighed in relief and wiggled his toes taking some of the ache from them. She smiled and climbed onto his lap "have I ever told you how lucky I am to have found you?" she kissed his stubbled chin. "I love you Cullen, thank you for always being where I need you" she moved around gently positioning herself to look into his eyes. He tangled his fingers in her hair enjoying her closeness. "This is the first time we have been completely alone" he said. "Uh huh" Bethany murmured her fingers sliding her hand into his shirt idly playing with the golden hairs on his chest. He felt the rumblings of desire within him. Pulling her head back gently he kissed her thoroughly revelling in the feel of her soft tongue melding with his. Much later they lay side by side completely sated from their love making. "Maker you're good at that" Bethany sighed. "I have much to inspire me" he whispered into her hair as they drifted off to sleep.

Cullen awoke to the sun shining through the cracks of the roof on his face. He rolled over stretching his hand searching for Bethany meaning to pull her close to him. He was unnerved to find the space next to him empty. Jumping to his feet he grabbed his sword running through the door clad only in his under things. The glare of the sunlight momentarily blinded him and he could hear small embarrassed titters. His eyes finally allowed him to see and he was confronted with the sight of Bethany standing with a small group of the village's women open mouthed at the spectacle of the big bear of a man brandishing a sword in his smalls. His face flushed a deep red and he retreated into the barn to dress properly Bethany's tinkling laughter following him.

He waited for some time before shame facedly re-emerging. To his relief the women had dispersed and Bethany was sitting on a small pile of wood poring over a crude map she had found. He sat next to her dropping a small kiss on her head. "Good morning" she said rubbing her face against his arm. "Don't ever do that again" he growled still chafing. "Do what? Appear in public with only my smalls on. No wait… that was you" she chortled. "Hush woman" he shook his head. "Seriously though waking up and not finding you there scared me beyond belief. I thought perhaps those men had come back and taken you." "It would take bigger and better men than those to take me down" she scoffed. He nodded "yes I suppose it would." She stood up stretching "Maker I think that was the best night's sleep since… well I don't know when" she grinned. "I was talking to some of the villagers and apparently these thugs have been harassing them for some time. They had just started to rebuild when they showed up demanding money. When they were told they had none they burnt their new homes down" she gestured to the burnt buildings. "Well that is a situation that needs to change" Cullen said. "My thoughts exactly" she pointed to a small cross on her map. "This is roughly where they are. There are some young men and women here and I think we could probably enlist their help." Extending her arm to Cullen she helped him up.

Together they rounded up as many willing villagers as they could. Cullen quickly assessed their skills and started giving them pointers on how they could improve. Bethany had heard of a mage with good healing capabilities and thinking him to be potentially useful she had gone to make his acquaintance. She knocked on the door of the rundown house stepping back startled when the door was flung open. A tall thin man with thick short brown hair and almost black eyes stood on the threshold scowling at her "what?" he demanded. "Pleased to meet you Ser, my name is Bethany and I was wondering if Ser Tanther was about? She dipped her knee. The man stood there taken aback at being addressed in such a way. "I am Tanther what do you want?" his tone had softened somewhat but it still held suspicion. "My partner and I are meaning on clearing out the group of rogues who keep harassing the town but fear that we would not be able to do much on our own" her tone was calm and even. "And what does that have to do with me?" he leaned against the door frame. "I have heard that you are a wonderful healer and as we will be taking inexperienced fighters with us I had hoped you may be inclined to come along." Tanther looked at her for a long moment "alright" he agreed. "I would dearly love to see these mongrels be gone once and for all." Bethany nodded her head "thank you kind Ser" she said. Telling him where they were grouped he promised to see her there.

Bethany was talking to Cullen telling him of her success in getting the healer to come along when she saw him approaching. She waved him over "Ser Tanther I would like you to meet Cullen" the two men shook hands. "Please call me Mikkal" Tanther asked. "Of course thank you" Bethany and Cullen smiled at him. "Excuse me" Cullen moved away to help one of the would-be fighters with their stance. "You know I think we may have a chance" Bethany smiled at him. Mikkal nodded "well I will do my best to keep everyone alive." He watched the man named Cullen. There was something familiar about him but he couldn't quite place what. Mentally shrugging he pushed it from his mind there were more important things to worry about. "When are you planning on carrying out this attack?" he asked. "I am not sure yet, Cullen doesn't want to go until he is confident that they are capable enough." "Very well I also have some fighting spells but they are not very strong." Bethany inclined her head "do not worry I am a force mage. With all of us we should shut the scum down easily enough." He was watching Cullen move easily through the men and women, stopping to give advice or words of encouragement. The sun started to go down and Cullen seeing that they were all exhausted told them to go home and get a good night's sleep before returning in the morning. "Well what do you think?" Bethany queried. Cullen rubbed his chin "they are not too bad really some of them are natural swordsmen. I think one more day of training and we will be able to move." Mikkal spoke "I will return then" he dipped his head in farewell and moved away.

Satisfied that the villagers were as good as they were going to get in the short amount of time they had Cullen and Bethany decided it was time to set their plan in action. The group moved confidently across the land stopping as they saw the camp in the distance. Sending a couple of the smaller ones ahead as scouts they waited for them to return. Soon the scouts returned "there are two guards at the front and two at back. The rest are just milling around" they reported proud of their success. "Well done" Cullen congratulated them, eliciting happy smiles from them showing they were pleased with the praise. "About how many do you think are there?" Bethany asked. "I would say perhaps twenty it was hard to tell. We couldn't see all the way in" the other scout replied. "Alright then, we split up into two groups" Cullen said "and attack from different directions." "What about the guards?" Bethany asked. Cullen turned to the scouts "we need a distraction." The scouts nodded "we can do that" they grinned cheekily. He then turned to Mikkal "keep out of sight and heal when needed" Mikkal nodded his understanding. "Alright then let's move" Cullen ordered.

The scouts indeed did distract the guards drawing them away from their posts with tales of lone travellers slitting their throats when their backs were turned. This enabled the first group led by Cullen to get through unnoticed. Once they were all in position he made the bird call letting Bethany know it was time. They moved in from either side of the camp with Bethany using Maker's fist to slam the first group that ran at them to the ground. The melee fighters ran in while they were stunned taking down as many as they could. Mikkal was as good as had been said as soon as someone started to go down they found themselves back on their feet feeling as good as new. Cullen's group was faring just as well he still had some of Isabela's miasmic flasks and threw one down stunning the group that surrounded him. They made short work of the bandits and soon the camp was cleared. There were shouts of jubilation from the villagers when they saw that they had won and now they would be able to rebuild without fear. They took what they could from the camp intending to use the materials for the betterment of the village.

Cullen and Bethany stayed a few more days helping them to rebuild. Bethany used her magic to easily lift roofs onto houses. They had pulled down many of the old buildings using any wood they found that was good. They didn't know how they were going to live with nothing seeming to grow but the villagers were optimistic. "We had started being able to grow some things but those bastards kept coming back and destroying it. I don't know how they thought we could give them anything when they ruined whatever we had" Jony had told them. Cullen had looked down on him he was a short stocky boy with a shock of blonde hair and blue eyes as round as saucers. Cullen had found him to be naturally gifted with a sword and had given him his old one to keep practising with. "I don't think brains were something the Maker gifted them with" Cullen said drily. Jony laughed "I think you are right Ser Cullen."

Bethany and Cullen told them regretfully that they had to leave. The villagers were sad but knew that the couple had important business in Denerim. Mikkal and Jony had approached them the night before "we would like to come with you" Mikkal said. "But what of the village don't they need a healer?" Bethany asked not wanting to leave them vulnerable. "My mother is a healer too" Mikkal said. "And what of you Jony do you not want to stay and defend the village?" Cullen enquired. "There are others who can do that" Jony said. "Look, there are only two of you and you are about to embark on a dangerous journey. There are many bands of raiders and we could help you. Besides I am a mage and have been running my whole life. This cause is worthy." Mikkal pointed out. Neither of them could deny the truth of his words. "We would be glad to have you along" Cullen said with Bethany nodding in agreement. "We are leaving at first light, so get some sleep." Mikkal and Jony nodded "just make sure you are dressed when we arrive, Ser Cullen" Jony remarked impertinently as they walked away. "Maker's breath" Cullen exclaimed as Bethany went off into peals of laughter.


	17. Chapter 17

18.

The four of them walked along talking quietly about where to go next. Jony wore Cullen's old sword with pride. Cullen had shown him how to keep it clean and sharp and Jony looked after it as if it was his child. Bethany helped Mikkal with some battling spells and he was much more helpful in battle although his healing spells took priority. Every village they went through had problems and the foursome tried to help them as much as they could before leaving. Soon they made a name for themselves and they found they were welcomed with open arms wherever they went.

Bethany looked at Cullen worriedly, he had dark shadows under his eyes and she knew that he had been having nightmares. She had tried to find out what was bothering him but he kept telling her that he was fine. The constant travelling and fighting was wearing on him he said. She didn't believe him but figured that he would tell her when he was ready. They made camp and she took out the map of Ferelden trying to work out the best way to go. "Hmmm we are near the old Ferelden Circle" she said happily. It meant that they weren't far from Denerim. "I know" Cullen said quietly. Bethany frowned "whatever is the matter Cullen? Our journey is nearly at an end aren't you happy?" He nodded "of course my love" but his tone told her he was lying.

It wasn't until they passed through the town of Mantor that the reason behind his new taciturn demeanour became apparent. As they passed by one of the houses an old woman stood from the rocking chair she had been sitting in on her porch. Pointing her finger accusingly at Cullen she screamed "murderer, murderer, murderer." Cullen looked like he was going to pass out. He recognised her well enough. The years hadn't been kind to her but her face still held the same expression of grief. They hurried past and Cullen ducked his head low. Jony and Mikkal looked at the old woman wondering what had brought that on. She was mad they decided, perhaps she yelled that at every stranger. They didn't know but what they did know was that Cullen was no murderer. But Cullen's guilty reaction was strange.

Bethany struggled to catch up with Cullen's increasingly long strides. "Cullen please, slow down" she gasped. Jony and Mikkal had fallen behind leaving her to find out what was going on. Cullen responded to her pleading slowing his steps. "Why was that woman yelling that?" Bethany asked. "Because I am a murderer Bethany" Cullen replied dully "you know this." Bethany shook her head "you are no murderer Cullen." "For the love of the Maker Bethany yes I am" he had never spoken to her so sharply. "I killed her son. She begged me to stop, he begged me to stop but all I saw was a mage who needed to die" his eyes were wet with unshed tears. "It was his murder that made me see that I was more of a monster than any mage could ever be" he shuddered remembering looking down on the defenceless boy. How his senses had returned causing him to flee. But he had discovered no matter how much you run you can't escape yourself. Bethany touched his face "Maker, Cullen I had all but forgotten. You are not that man now. Your mind was broken and you have atoned…" Cullen drew away he didn't deserve her touch. "Yes and I got my mind back but that poor woman… I shattered hers and it will never return." He turned from her "please Bethany I need some time alone. I have much to atone for." Bethany stood watching his back as he walked from her. It had been a long time since she had heard him utter those words.

This town was different from the rest, used to being treated like saviours Jony and Mikkal found that they were treated with suspicion and disdain. People walked past and Mikkal could have sworn he heard one mutter "die worthless dog." They saw Bethany walking towards them a look of worry on her usually happy face. "This town is strange" Jony said. "We won't be staying here long will we?" Bethany shook her head "no, we will be leaving as soon as possible." "Good" said Mikkal "these people are weird." They looked past her "where did Cullen go?" "For a walk" seeing their looks of confusion she explained "sometimes people just need to be alone." Jony shivered "I hope he comes back soon I don't want to stay here." Bethany hoped so too.

The three of them wandered around looking for somewhere to buy supplies. The one merchant they found was not happy to serve them. "If I was not so desperate I would not take your coin. Choose your items and then go" he had hissed at them. Mikkal stopped "I know" he whispered. "What do you know?" Jony asked. "I know why the people here are so hostile." Jony waited for more but when it wasn't forthcoming he exclaimed impatiently "well would you like to share it with us?" Mikkal turned to Bethany "Cullen he was that Templar, the one that went mad?" Bethany could not deny it. "You know?" It was a more of a statement than a question. She nodded miserably "you are a mage" he said incredulously. Jony was confused "could someone please tell me what is going on?" They both ignored him. Mikkal clenched his fists and spitting on the ground at Bethany's feet he turned on his heel and stalked away. Jony hurried after him "Mikkal, Mikkal wait." Bethany was left alone in the middle of a hostile town. Not knowing what else to do she set off in the same direction as Cullen.

She found him not long after sitting under a tree his arms around his knees rocking back and forth. She didn't know it but he looked much the same as he had all those years ago when his fellow Templars had found him. She walked to him putting her hand on his shoulder. He looked up tears streaming down his face "leave me Bethany. I do not deserve you perhaps you should have taken up with Anders like you wanted to. He killed far less people than I did." She recoiled from him "Anders knew what he was doing" she replied. "Did he? I don't know about that his mind had been taken over." "Yes but it was his choice. You did not choose what happened to you. You can't change what has happened Cullen but you need to forgive yourself." He shook his head "I don't think I can." He returned his face to his knees unable to look at her.

She sat next to him holding him close, telling him that she loved him and that he needed to stop torturing himself. His sobs receded and he started to gather himself together. His face was pressed into her neck. "I don't deserve you" he said again. "Yes you do. You have helped many more people than you have hurt. You have atoned Cullen. I love you and I will never leave your side." This almost made him start crying again. They sat that way for a while longer while Cullen calmed down properly. "Let us leave here" he said. "Cullen" Bethany was getting to her feet. "Mikkal figured it out. He knows of you and he left. Jony followed him. I don't know where they are or if we should even look for them." Cullen sighed "we should find them and if Mikkal wants to take a swing at me I won't blame him." They got to their feet and Bethany reached out taking his face in her hands she placed her lips to his affirming her love for him.

They searched for the others and being unable to find them made a camp outside of town. "It may be dangerous to stay here. The people may come with pitchforks and torches" Cullen said. "Let them come" Bethany said darkly. If they tried to kill him she would die trying to save him. He drew her to him "Maker but you are one formidable woman my love." "I have much to inspire me" she whispered against his chest.

They heard footsteps coming towards them breaking apart they drew their weapons. "It is just me" Jony said holding his hands in front of him. "I have to know is what Mikkal said the truth?" Cullen nodded "yes I am afraid that it is." Jony frowned "but you are not that man now?" Bethany answered "no he is not." Jony's frown became deeper. "You are a mage yet you forgive what he has done?" Bethany nodded "yes." Cullen sighed "sit down Jony and let me tell you what happened" he believed that the young man deserved to know. He told him in length with Bethany interjecting every now and then. She wanted him to understand exactly what Cullen had gone through. By the time they were finished Jony's frown had been replaced with a look of understanding. "I see. I am no mage and don't fully understand the nature of demons and such. But I know that you are not a madman. I have seen you help people over and over again. If Bethany can forgive what you have done, I see no reason why I cannot. I would like to keep travelling with you." Cullen exhaled slowly "of course Jony. We would love to have you stay with us." "Then it is settled." Bethany looked at him "what became of Mikkal?" Jony shrugged "he has left. He said he was going home." Cullen looked at him feeling worried. "It will be dangerous for him to travel back alone. We removed many dangers but we also avoided many. Maker there was that group of Templars nearby." Bethany pulled at her lip remembering how they had just managed to skirt their camp. "We must go back for him" Cullen said standing. "But Cullen we are short of time…" Bethany too was worried but their quest was to save many mages not one. "We have no appointment Bethany, our schedule is our own" he stood "quickly pack up we are going back." They knew better than to argue when he was so determined so they did as he bid.

They skirted the town not wanting to unduly alarm them. They quickly picked up his trail following it with their steps at first slow and careful not wanting to destroy it. Soon they heard a familiar voice begging for his life. "Shut up filthy apostate" they heard a booming cry. "Blast" Cullen exclaimed "they have him." They hid in the dark surveying the scene in front of them. Mikkal was tied up surrounded by a circle of men his face showing the signs of a beating. He was pleading with them to see sense. His words were making them laugh as they were enjoying his terror. Their minds had become twisted with hate at seeing their beloved order crumble around them. Cullen sucked in his breath as he recognised some of them. They were the ones who had taken him back condemning him for his actions and now they were no different. "Bloody hypocrites" he muttered angrily. Luckily there were only five or so but he knew them to be formidable warriors. Seeing one of them raise his sword ready to strike a final blow he rushed to stop them. Bethany and Jony followed him their weapons out. "Leave that mage alone" Cullen cried swinging his sword around him threateningly. The Templars turned surprised to be challenged. "Well look who it is. Do you want him Cullen? You know I often regret stopping you that night" the man's words were dripping with sadism. "Set him free. He is no danger to anyone" Cullen demanded. "What? You know better than anyone the dangers this filth poses" the Templar narrowed his eyes. Cullen pointed his sword at the man's chest "let him go" he said quietly. The Templars shook their heads "you try to save him? Well then you die with him." The Templars drew their swords and attacked without mercy. Cullen, Bethany and Jony fought back just as hard. The sound of sword hitting sword filled the air, sparks flew from Cullen's sword as the fire rune performed its magic. Bethany saw Cullen get pushed back by two of them and hit them with a telekinetic blast. Their strength overcame it and it did little more than make their steps falter. Cullen struck down one and turning to the other meaning to finish him he didn't see a hunter come from behind. He felt the sharp daggers slice through his armour and the sickly warmth of his own blood as it dripped into his boots.

Bethany saw him fall and howled with rage drawing the others too her. Jony jumped in to defend her but she knew he would prove no match for them. They had stayed fairly safe as the Templars had concentrated on Cullen first but with him no longer a threat they zeroed in on his companions. Mikkal watched on his hands bound tightly there was naught he could do. Bethany pushed Jony out of the way taunting them with her magic. She drew them away from the others raining fire down on them as soon as she could. As always that spell did the trick and the remaining Templars fell to its fury. She was exhausted but worry for Cullen pushed her forward. Running to him she dropped to his side trying to heal him but her healing spells were weak and she feared that all she was doing was prolonging his pain. Jony released Mikkal and he stood back watching the Templar he had once respected but now hated dying. He knew he could help him but part of him wanted him to die. Bethany looked at him "please Mikkal, please I beg you save him" tears streamed down her face. Angry at his inaction she started to scream "we came back to save you. He couldn't let you go on alone. He demanded that we come for you. Help him or I will strike you down myself." She didn't know which of her words convinced him but he dropped down next to Cullen blue light pulsing from his fingers.

Cullen was floating at first the pain had been indescribable a hot fire that seemed to burn to his very soul. The pain had receded and he could faintly hear the moans of Bethany begging him to live, moaning that she could not go on without him. He tried to speak to her but his mouth couldn't form the words. Don't cry my love he wanted to say. Be strong you need to be strong. He tried to move his hand to comfort her but it wouldn't obey. The pain receded further and he could see a pale white light. Its warmth and comfort was drawing him and he ran to it. Just as he thought to reach it he felt something pull him back. He looked up and found himself surrounded in a blue glow. A huge waft of air pushed its way painfully into his lungs and his eyes flew open. "Thank the Maker" Bethany breathed seeing his eyes open. She was cradling his head in her lap and her tears were bathing his face and upon looking up at her he knew he was truly blessed.

They heard the thump of Mikkal's body hit the ground. The night's activities had exhausted him and he had passed out on seeing Cullen regain consciousness. Bethany dug a blue potion out her bag and gently lifting Mikkal's head poured it into his mouth. The lyrium potion had the desired affect and Mikkal was soon sitting up the colour returning to his face. Cullen was sitting, his wound still pained him but he knew he would live. The foursome sat in silence weary and shaken by the furious battle. "Thank you Mikkal" Cullen said softly. Mikkal's head was still down and he didn't answer still wondering if he had done the right thing.

It had come to him suddenly everything had clicked into place in his mind. He had remembered the Templar invading their home that night many years ago insanity glowing from his eyes. His mother had pushed him roughly into a closet covering his body with hers. "I know you to be a mage" the Templar had yelled to his sister. "No Ser I am no mage" his sister had denied it. "Do not lie, filthy apostate." He remembered his sister begging and pleading for him to believe her. He had not believed and had struck his sister down. He had peered through the crack of the door sobbing silently. He remembered the Templar leaving as quickly as he had come. He and his mother had come out of the closet and he had placed his arm around his mother's shoulders trying to comfort her. She had laughed a dry humourless laugh "three people here and he struck down the only one that is not a mage" she had said. The guilt he had felt at his sister's senseless death when it should have been his had stayed with him since.

Bethany was the first to speak "Oh Mikkal I am sorry." He looked up surprised unaware that he had been speaking. Cullen's face was stricken his mouth was working but no words came out. Jony sat there understanding why Mikkal and his mother had always kept to themselves. "There is nothing I can do to make this right" Cullen was finally able to speak the guilt bore down on him and he began to wish that Mikkal had not saved him. He got up and moved away feeling that his presence sullied them. He heard Bethany begin to talk and she told Mikkal Cullen's story. He wanted to tell her to stop, that there was no excuse for what he had done and he knew he was a fool for ever thinking that he could atone for his actions. Soon her voice stopped and they settled in for the night none of them not knowing what the next day would bring.

19.

Mikkal had decided to stay with them. He had always been quiet but was now even more so. Jony had been able to get him to come out of his shell previously but now found it to be impossible. In fact the only two that conversed anymore was him and Bethany. Cullen was still guilt ridden and found it hard to look Mikkal in the eye. A lot of the memories that had been pushed away returned and he found himself longing for the certainty of his duties at the Circle. Bethany had tried to mend his damaged armour as much as she could as he refused to wear the Templar armour they had found. Mikkal had been glad of this not sure he could resist killing the man in his sleep if he wore it. One night Cullen found himself dragged out of sleep feeling the presence of someone hovering over him. Reaching for his sword his hand wavered as he saw it was Mikkal. He propped himself up on his elbows "come to finish me off Mikkal?" he asked quietly. The other man shook his head "no. I would like for us to speak." Cullen nodded he sat up and pulling on the leather pants he wore under his armour they moved away from their sleeping companions. "I indulged in many revenge fantasies after you killed my sister. Maker, the things I was going to do to you to make you pay. I don't know what made me angrier the fact that you still lived or that I had liked and respected the man you have become" Mikkal started slowly. "Mikkal I…" The mage shook his head stopping Cullen's words. "I have seen you helping so many that are vulnerable and I can see that you are no longer the monster I always believed you to be." He drew a deep breath "I must ask I was but a child when you did what you did but if you had found me, would you have killed me too?" Cullen considered his question thoughtfully "I don't know… no that answer does not suffice. A sickness had overtaken me. I could still feel the taint of the demon in my mind and how so many times I nearly fell to its temptations. I wish I could say differently but I would have struck you down." Mikkal nodded hating but understanding his words "I have much to think on but thank you for your honesty." Neither man got much sleep that night.

Their conversation had forged a faltering understanding between the two men. Jony and Bethany were relieved to see them start to return to their old selves. They continued on their way to Denerim and all of them were happy to finally see the walls of the city on the horizon. They were at a small town nearby and after securing rooms at a local tavern they sat in the bar playing Diamondback and feeling relaxed for what seemed to be the first time in quite a while. Cullen and Bethany broke away from the others and walked through the quiet dark streets holding hands and stopping periodically to kiss like two courting teenagers. They returned to the tavern and retired to their room bidding the others good night.

Cullen sat on the bed watching Bethany brew potions in the many pots she had borrowed. He looked at the different swirling colours of them identifying them all but one. "Alright I know this one is a healing potion" he pointed to the red liquid bubbling idly. "This blue one is lyrium and this yellow one is for stamina, but this one is a mystery" he was now pointing at a thick green liquid. Bethany smiled impressed with how much he had picked up in their travels. "Have you ever wondered, my love, how it is I'm not pregnant?" He nodded "yes I have. I was beginning to worry" he admitted as he had started to fear that the lyrium potion he had taken when he was a Templar had made him sterile. Bethany looked at him feeling slightly guilty that he had worried needlessly "this one here is called The Ladies Saviour and it temporarily stops fertility." Cullen moved his head showing that he understood "are you sure that it is just temporary?" he asked. "Yes Cullen I only need to take it once a week, but if I miss it I could fall pregnant. It's not that I don't want your children but at the moment it is not desirable." He stretched out his arms and took her in his embrace "have you taken it this week?" She nodded "good" he moaned pulling her on top of him. "Cullen, the potions" she protested weakly.

Jony and Mikkal sat in their room speaking about their companions. "You still hate him?" Jony asked. Mikkal looked at the table he was sitting at "no." He felt guilty at not hating the man who mercilessly slain his sister but he had always had a forgiving nature. Jony looked at the man he had come to care for. "Good, I would hate to see you become bitter." Mikkal turned his eyes up and saw the other man looking at him closely. "How old are you Jony?" he asked surprised that he did not know. "I am 19. And you?" Jony returned the question. "21, but I feel much older" Mikkal laughed. Jony sat next to him unsure of how to proceed. His desires were difficult as they were frowned upon by the general populace. He slowly dragged a finger over Mikkal's hand happy when he didn't pull away. The two looked deeply into each other eyes and taking a breath Mikkal tentatively kissed him.

Cullen and Bethany waited impatiently for Mikkal and Jony to emerge from their room. They were happy to see big beaming smiles on the faces of the two men. Cullen had noticed the way they looked at each other and at first had been offended by what it implied. But he had reflected that not too long ago the thought of a mage and Templar being together had seemed unnatural to him. So who was he to judge how others lived their lives? He found himself hopeful that they had found each other and that they would be happy.

They set off towards Denerim, they were close to their destination but realised that they had no actual plan to get an audience with the King. "Have you noticed that since the Circles have started to fall that we have seen less and less abominations?" Cullen remarked the thought just occurring to him. "Of course not Cullen, mages have less reason to fear for their lives, less reason to turn to the lure of demons" Bethany replied. The men nodded seeing that she made sense. "One day we will have proper places of learning for them. Ones where they come in the morning and go home at night, they will learn to love and respect their powers not hate and fear them" Bethany's voice was strong with conviction. "They will be able to fall in love and have families without fear of their children being ripped away. That is what we are fighting for" her words energised them and their steps became more purposeful.


	18. Chapter 18

20.

The gates of Denerim loomed before them and they were almost running as if afraid that it was a hallucination that would slip away. Guards stood in front of them and pulled the lever that drew them open. There had been more and more people fleeing there and King Alistair had given orders that all were welcome. The courtyard was packed full of people, mages walked freely and they saw with surprise that the Chantry doors were boarded up. King Alistair had had his army chase the Templars and other dedicated away. They had noticed patrols of guards with the crest of Ferelden keeping the roads clear of bandits and any rogue Templar groups. "Does he not fear an exalted march?" Cullen asked. Bethany shrugged her shoulders "he helped to slay the arch demon I don't think there is much he could fear." Moving along they tried to find somewhere to rest. All the taverns were full and there were small camps of people littering the square. It was different though than when she had fled to Kirkwall, instead of the feeling of hopelessness that had pervaded the area there was a feeling of hope for a new life. Bethany saw many refugees from Darktown had come back and was smiling at seeing so much happiness after so much despair.

They settled themselves at a table in the crowded Gnawed Noble Tavern and discussed how to gain an audience with the King. "All we can really do is go and request one from the guards" Cullen said not holding out much hope. "The Hero is your cousin? I wonder if that would help" Bethany shook her head "I didn't know her. Kira was just a name told to us to prove why we must keep running as she was taken away to the Circle at such a young age." Bethany peered at Cullen "she was at the Circle here, did you know her?" Cullen nodded his head remembering his silly infatuation with her. "Briefly" he said "I was tasked with striking her down if she didn't pass her Harrowing" he admitted nervously omitting how she had caused him to flee with her suggestive remarks after. He had glossed over the part of him revealing his desires to her when she had come to save the Circle from Uldred. "Thank the Maker she passed" Mikkal said remembering the tale of her defeating the Blight. Cullen was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading so he quickly moved them back to the subject at hand. "So how do we get an audience with the King?" They decided that placing a request with the guards would be the best way to go about it.

They returned to the spot in the courtyard they had claimed upon arriving feeling somewhat defeated. They had put in the request and had been told what they already knew. "The King is very busy and has no time to meet with commoners" the guard had intoned as if he had said it many times before. "We will add your request to the others but don't hold your breath" he had smiled kindly at them before sending them on their way. They slept fitfully on the cold cobbled pavement feeling that their cause was lost before it had begun.

They sat around staring morosely at each other when excited whispers caught their attention. "The King is here." They stood hoping to get close enough to catch his attention but the throng of people surrounding him proved to be too much. "Here" Jony said an idea glimmering in his eyes "give me some parchment and a quill." Mikkal produced them for him and Jony started scribbling urgently. They watched in confusion as he fashioned the paper into what looked like a paper dart and threw it in the direction of King Alistair. It hit him squarely on the head and his guards drew their swords in consternation. Alistair stooped and picked up the paper, scanning its contents he turned towards the crowd "who threw this?" he demanded. Jony stepped forward hesitantly "it was I Your Highness." Cullen and the others watched nervously sure that the guards would strike him down. Alistair waved his hand impatiently at his guards "sheath your swords. If he wanted to kill me I am sure he would have thrown a rock or something don't you think?" His guards did as he bid but they didn't take their eyes off the young man. "You are so desperate for an audience that you would risk your life?" Alistair asked his blue eyes shining kindly. "Yes Your Highness, well not me so much, more my companions" he motioned to Cullen and Bethany who had moved to either side of him protectively. "Well young man" Alistair boomed laughingly "I love your initiative. An audience you shall have." The Guard Captain moved forward "Your Highness granting them an audience would surely be…" Alistair shooed him out of the way "hush Darryn." Darryn sighed in resignation "yes Your Highness." "Come to the gates at sundown. I will receive you then. Get their names Darryn."

Bethany was digging furiously through her bag looking for something suitable to wear making sounds of frustration. Pulling a crumpled piece of fabric she held it up trying to smooth some of the wrinkles. Cullen looked at her amused as he had never seen her really care much about her appearance before. "He will not expect you to be wearing finery you know?" his tone laughing. "Yes but still I would like to look somewhat presentable" she frowned at him. "You could be wearing pink and green and orange cheesecloth and still look beautiful" he said. She wagged her head at him "you are biased." He grinned at her "perhaps." The three men formed a shield with their backs allowing her to change. Sundown came and they went to the castle gates trying to quell the butterflies that fluttered within their stomachs.

Cullen was wearing brown leather pants and had managed to find a mostly white shirt and Jony and Mikkal were wearing their usual garb of blue canvas trousers topped with black shirts made of cheesecloth. Bethany had weaved the deep purple cloth she had found around her body fashioning a dress of sorts. Knowing that they looked strange they stood uncomfortably in the huge foyer of the castle waiting for the King to receive them. A manservant came and ushered them grudgingly into a dining room decorated with gold and red silks. Plates of appetisers adorned the table and their stomachs grumbled at the sight and smell of the delicious food. Alistair was already there and he stood beaming his welcome extending his hand to each of them in turn. "Please sit" he said graciously, picking up a bell and ringing it. A serving woman came in and started placing food onto the plates in front of them. Bethany started to speak "Your Highness we have come…" Alistair waved his hand at her causing her to stop "I refuse to speak of serious matters on an empty stomach. First let us eat."

The foursome tucked into the food hungrily and momentarily forgetting where they were they allowed their natural instincts to take over. Once their appetites were sated they sat back in their chairs contented. Cullen looked up to see Alistair regarding them with amusement. Seeing their embarrassment he tried to put them at ease "oh don't worry, I have been that hungry too." Relaxing at his kind words they set about trying to convince him to their cause. Alistair listened allowing them to speak before adding anything to the discussion. "As you can see I have dissolved the Chantry and the Circle here but there is only so much I can do. My guards are too few to launch a full scale attack against the Divine herself. At least the troubles with the mages have stopped Orlais from bothering with us." Bethany rubbed the bridge of her nose "We know Your Highness but any aid you could provide would be most welcome." They discussed the matter some more and Alistair asked for some time to think on what they had said.

"You look familiar to me" he directed this at Cullen. "I was a Templar at the Circle here Your Highness" he admitted reluctantly. Alistair sighed "so sick of Your Highness this and Your Highness that please just call me Alistair." "Your Highness we couldn't possibly…" Bethany was shocked at his request. "Are you denying a request from your King" Alistair was trying not to laugh at her horror. "I merely asked you to refer to me by my name, not dance naked in the courtyard." Cullen burst out laughing. This drew Alistair's attention back to him "ah now I remember. You were the Templar trapped in Uldred's prison" he was nodding knowing he was right." Cullen laughter stopped abruptly "yes Your… I mean Alistair." Alistair was nodding still "yes you were babbling about…" he trailed off on seeing the tormented look on his face "babbling about nothing I could make out. Totally incoherent he was" he finished. Cullen breathed out painfully allowing his stomach to unclench. For a horrible moment there he thought he was going to vomit. Alistair still regarded him thoughtfully, he knew who he was and what he had done but not wanting to betray his secrets without reason he kept his thoughts to himself. "Tell me where are you staying?" "We have made a camp of sorts in the courtyard" Mikkal spoke for the first time. "Aha he speaks" Alistair boomed clapping a hand heartily to the mages shoulder, causing the young man to nearly fall over. "We can't have you staying there." He rang his bell again and the manservant who had shown them in quickly appeared. "Ready some rooms. We have guests" he ordered. The servant nodded his head hiding his disdain for the ragged group and rushed off to do as he was told. "Your… Alistair" Bethany smiled shyly "there is no need for you to take us in." "Rubbish" Alistair wagged his finger at her. "We have much more to discuss and I would hate to think of someone so beautiful sleeping on the cold hard ground." Cullen ground his teeth an unfamiliar surge of jealousy prickling at his chest. Alistair saw the look on his face "I was talking about your friend here" he gestured to Jony. Seeing them looking utterly baffled he laughed again "I jest. I jest. Go and gather your things and return here at once."

21.

Bethany sunk her body in the deep tub filled with warm soapy water arching her back in pleasure when a voice startled her "and here I was thinking I was the only thing that could make you to do that. Sad to think I have been replaced by water" Cullen was leaning against the door frame of the bathroom smiling lustily at her. Bethany returned his smile "why don't you join me?" she raised her eyebrows suggestively. "But my dear lady I have just bathed" he was taking his clothes off as he said it. "You can never be too clean kind Ser" she blew a bubble at him admiring his well- built physique. He slid in beside her and for the first time in their tumultuous relationship they truly relaxed. He ran his hand along her warm slick thigh and groaned "the things you do to me woman" she giggled as he lowered his body onto hers.

They had left the bath and were now on Bethany's bed clad only in thick soft towels. Cullen was on his back stretched out with Bethany curled up beside him her head resting on his stomach. He stroked her hair idly remarking "I could get used to this." She reached her hand up rubbing his chin "me too." They both smiled climbing under the blankets. He held her naked body against his, his hand resting on the curve of her waist. After indulging in their desires once again they fell into a deep sleep.

Alistair went to the room that had been given to Cullen and seeing that it was empty he went in search of him. He got to Bethany's door and raised his hand to knock but hearing what was going on within he smiled and walked away deciding his conversation could wait.

Bethany awoke late in the morning rolling over she was not surprised to discover that Cullen wasn't there. She vaguely remembered him kissing her forehead before hearing the door close quietly. She sat up stretching feeling fully rested and as if the problems that had brought them there were a world away. She quickly dressed and went in search of the others. Finding Mikkal and Jony in the dining room finishing breakfast she sat down with them taking the platter of toast Jony passed to her. "Where is Cullen?" she asked with a mouthful of toast being most unladylike. "With the King in the gardens" Mikkal still couldn't bring himself to call him Alistair. She nodded taking a sip of the hot tea that the servant had poured for her. "So, how was your sleep?" she asked them "mine was wonderful". "Excellent" they both answered together. Mikkal looked as if something was bothering him "what's wrong Mikkal?" Bethany asked. "I feel a tad guilty what with us being in here and all those people stuck out there in the cold." She nodded understandingly "me too. But not enough to go back out there" she grinned. Jony chuckled "come Mikkal let's go have a look around." Both men got up and left her to enjoy the rest of her breakfast in peace.

Cullen and Alistair strolled around the gardens talking quietly. "We have much in common" Alistair noted. "Both of us are ex-Templars and fell hard for mages." Cullen laughed nodding his head "yes Alistair it would seem that we do." Cullen watched Alistair stop to smell a flower "you know after the Darkspawn invaded here I didn't think anything would grow again. Thank the Maker that it finally has." Cullen nodded "you still have your faith then?" Alistair looked surprised "why wouldn't I?" Cullen moved his shoulders up and down "I just thought that because you had banished the Chantry…" he let his words trail off afraid that he had offended. "Ah yes I can see how you would think that. I still believe in the Maker, just not the Chantry, if that makes sense." Cullen understood it made perfect sense.

Alistair straightened "so tell me Cullen how much of your past do your companions know?" Cullen looked him straight in the eye "all of it." "All of it?" Alistair wasn't sure whether to believe him. "They know of my madness and the unholy things that I did" Cullen wanted him to see that he was not lying. "Your lover, she is a mage though. She does not mind?" Cullen evened out his breath trying to calm the clenching in his chest "at first she hated me. But my natural charm and good looks won her over" he said lightly not really wanting to go into it. "Uh huh" Alistair crossed his arms. Cullen groaned seeing that he wasn't going to be able to brush him off "she hated me for a long time. It almost killed me." Alistair waited patiently. "Her mother was killed by a blood mage and she herself started to question magic and if the Chantry was right. It was then that she saw how I was driven mad for a time and she forgave me. She said all that mattered is that I came back and became the man that I am." Alistair started to walk again seemingly satisfied.

Alistair left Cullen to his own devices this time in search of Bethany. He wanted to get to know these people better before he decided how much help to extend to them. He found her curled up on a day bed making notes in a journal. "Recording your innermost desires?" Alistair queried. Bethany looked up snapping the book closed. "What can I do for you Alistair?" she asked politely ignoring his question. "I came to ask you if you would care to accompany me for a stroll in the gardens." She uncurled her legs "I would be delighted." They walked in silence for a time Bethany admiring the newly flourishing plants. "I was speaking to Cullen earlier." "Mmhmm" Bethany murmured. "How did you come to meet him?" "He took me away to the Circle in Kirkwall." Alistair looked at her sharply "you were in Kirkwall? You were there when the Chantry was destroyed?" She nodded the memory clouding her eyes. "Yes poor Grand Cleric Elthina" she sighed "and the children all dead" tears started to well up in her eyes. "So" Alistair said hurriedly pained by the look in her eyes "you know of Cullen's past and he took away your freedom, still you managed to fall in love with him?" Bethany was studying her hands closely "I know it must seem strange but yes. I hated him for taking me away then I loved him for protecting me and then I hated him for his actions in the past and then I loved him again" she snorted thinking about how stupid it sounded.

"You were older when you first went to the Circle then?" "Yes, my family fought for a long time to keep myself and my father free." Alistair nodded "so stupid to lock mages up. I never understood it." Bethany smiled "me either obviously." "I have been lucky in my life really, I have always had someone ready to step in and protect me, my parents, my brothers and then Cullen. There was a Templar at Kirkwall who was intent on making all mages tranquil. He was stalking me, Maker I was terrified. Cullen kept him from me and then he was murdered." Alistair arched an eyebrow "murdered by Cullen?" She shook her head "no justice finally caught up to him." This made her think of Anders she wondered briefly what had happened to him. "How involved were you in the events at Kirkwall?" "I fought alongside my brother to save the mages. Meredith invoked the rite of annulment for something we had no involvement in." "The Chantry was blown up by a mage though?" "Yes but not one of the Circle." Alistair thought on this for a moment. "Your brother, who is he?" "He was the Champion but of course he lost that title when we all fled for our lives." "I met him, he seemed a fine man." "He is he has gone to Rivain with Isabela to try and secure aid." Alistair frowned "Isabela… no surely not." He shook his head it couldn't possibly be the same woman he had met at The Pearl. Unsure of what to say Bethany remained silent. "Thank you for taking the time to walk with me" he lifted her hand kissing it.

Bethany found the three men in a sitting room playing a game of Diamondback. "Maker" Jony exclaimed throwing his cards on the table "I couldn't get a good hand in a… a… good hand shop." Mikkal and Cullen started roaring with laughter at the silliness of his statement. Bethany shook her head glad to see them all looking so happy. "Room for one more?" Bethany asked sitting next to Cullen. "There is always room for you my sweet" Cullen draped his arm around her shoulders. "What is on the agenda today?" Bethany was bored. There was nothing they could do until Alistair made his decision. "You know we have some coin and there are a lot of stalls in the marketplace. Why don't we do some shopping?" Cullen suggested. "Sounds good to me" Jony and Mikkal said together.

They wandered about the marketplace looking at the many items on offer. Cullen helped Jony pick out a new sword and Bethany bought some fabrics to make some new clothes with. Mikkal was tenderly fingering a new staff a look of longing on his face. It was far too expensive. Cullen stepped up and started haggling aggressively with the vendor only stopping when he got him down to a price they could afford. Mikkal's eyes were shining with glee. "Now all I need is for one you to get hurt so I can try it out" a smirk crossed his usually serious face. "Maker forbid" Jony admonished him "Oh Jony get a sense of humour" Mikkal replied causing them all to burst out into uproarious laughter. They returned to the castle quite pleased with their day. Bethany hurried off to her room eager to get started crafting the new clothes she had planned and Cullen took Jony out to the practice yard to help him hone his skills while Mikkal stalked the halls looking for someone to heal. He finally gave up and went to sit with Bethany. "No luck finding someone who needed healing?" she smiled at him. "No" he sighed "everyone here is awfully healthy" he seemed despondent. "Oh don't fret no one can stay healthy forever" she consoled him. "I seriously thought about pushing someone down the stairs but I didn't think any of you would appreciate us being put back out on the street" his tone showed that he was joking. She shook her head remembering the taciturn man he used to be.

He watched her needle flying expertly in and out of the fabric and smiled as she held up the robe proud of her work. He looked it over critically "you don't think it may be too short?" he asked. "I mean to wear pants with it Mikkal" Bethany sighed. "If Isabela were here she would say it were too long" she sighed realising how much she missed her brother and his dusky skinned lover. "Isabela?" Mikkal tilted his head to one side. "She is my brother's companion" Bethany explained "her robes are incredibly short and low cut" Bethany reminisced. "I don't even know if they are still alive" she shook her head quickly trying to push the dreary thought from her mind. "If they are anything like you and Cullen I am sure they are fine" Mikkal said comfortingly. "Mikkal have you forgiven Cullen?" she asked hesitantly, somewhat afraid of the answer. "Yes, I didn't think I could and there were many nights there where I thought of using his own sword against him in his sleep, but I have thought on it much and he must have truly been tormented. I think he has made himself suffer more for what he has done than anyone else could" Mikkal's words were slow and thoughtful. The dinner bell rang and Mikkal left her to change into her new clothes.


	19. Chapter 19

22.

Bethany and Cullen walked towards the dining room taken aback by a frenzy of activity by the servants. "The Queen is back" one whispered in a scared tone. "Your cousin?" Cullen tilted his head towards Bethany. "No they never married. I believe Alistair married that Loghain's daughter." Cullen rubbed his hands together, the frenetic activity making him nervous "the traitor?" Bethany nodded. They passed a room and heard the familiar voice of Alistair, he was arguing with a shrewish sounding woman. "You dissolved the Circle and the Chantry while I was gone" her voice was high and querulous. "Yes" he answered shortly. "Are you mad? We will have the Divine on our doorstep" her voice shook with anger. "Let them come, I will just let you answer the door that should scare them away" his voice was derisive. "You will ruin this Kingdom" she snarled. "Anora would you shut up? I am King and I will rule my country as I see fit" he barked. "And I am Queen…" "Only because I was stupid enough to marry you, which I merely did to produce an heir. You will not lord it over me like you did Cailan. You know" his voice was low and dangerous "you have produced an heir and are no longer of much use." They heard a sharp intake of breath "you dare" "Yes" he yelled "I dare and if you do not leave me be I will lock you in the highest tower." "So you can move your whore back in?" They heard the sounds of heavy footsteps cross the room. "Go on hit me I dare you" her voice was as dangerous as his. "I would not dirty my hands" he snarled. Cullen and Bethany looked at each other in shock "no love lost there" Cullen stated the obvious. Bethany shivered she couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for the woman.

They saw Mikkal and Jony hovering near the dining room doors unsure of what to do, their relief at seeing the couple walk up was apparent. "Let us go in" Cullen said with false bravado. They sat there nervously as the welcoming feeling of the Castle had seemed to seep away with the arrival of the Queen. Alistair stomped in his usual good humoured face creased in an angry scowl. Servants ran around anxiously making him scowl even harder. He forced a smile to his face and waved his hands bringing the servants to a stop. "Calm down, the Queen will not be joining us and she will not be staying long. She has business to attend to elsewhere." Bethany wondered if he meant the tower he had spoken of. This calmed the servants and the atmosphere started to return to the warm one it had been before.

After dinner they returned to their rooms, Cullen walked in and smiled seeing Bethany sitting by the window sewing by candlelight. He spied one his shirts draped across a chair and idly wondered what it was doing there. He had probably left it behind he thought. He had been sneaking out of her room in the early hours to return to his cold empty bed trying to keep up a semblance of respectability. She looked up "I wonder if Alistair will come to a decision about our request soon. I think we will wear out our welcome if we stay much longer." He nodded "yes I have been wondering much the same thing. Where would we go though?" Bethany flexed her hand "Rivain, perhaps we could see how Garrett and Isabela fared." He nodded "I will return shortly" he said.

Cullen stood at the door of Alistair's rooms and knocked gently on the door. Alistair opened it and ushered him in motioning to him to be quiet. To Cullen's surprise he saw a crib in the corner of the room with a sleeping child of about 12 months old. He hadn't noticed a child about, but then he had been concerned with his own affairs and the castle was a big place. "One of the reasons Anora is so bitter" he said "is that I had our child taken away from her as soon as he no longer had need of her." Cullen was astounded at his apparent cruelty. "Don't look at me like that" Alistair wagged his finger at him "Anora was using him against me before he was even born. I could not allow it to continue. I will not have my son poisoned against me by that bitch" his words were heavy. "You know life is terribly unfair sometimes. I wanted nothing more than to stay with the wardens and my love, fighting darkspawn until I died. But instead I find myself King with all the responsibilities, a sham marriage and the woman I love far away from me. But him" he nodded to his child "he makes it all worthwhile." His face shone with paternal tenderness. "But you have not come to listen to my troubles. What brings you here Cullen?" Cullen sat in the chair Alistair directed him to "I was wondering if you have come to a decision regarding our request" Cullen said. Alistair propped the tips of his fingers together "I have. I will give you whatever support I can. I will see mages free or die trying. Anora be damned" he replied. Cullen stood shaking Alistair's hand vigorously "thank you Alistair." "Where will you go after this?" he enquired. "Bethany would like to go to Rivain to see how Garrett and Isabela have fared" he stopped contemplatively. "But…?" Alistair prodded. "But I have heard rumours that the army of the Divine is on the march again. I fear it would much too dangerous for the four of us." Alistair was looking at him "yes I have heard this too. I have wondered what took them so long at Kirkwall." Cullen smiled mysteriously as he thought of a big mouthed dwarf with a lot of chest hair.

A servant ran into the room "Your Highness, it is the Queen, she has gone mad." Alistair stood rapidly "where is she?" "In the room of your woman friend" she nodded at Cullen. "Remain with Cailan" he ordered gesturing to the sleeping child. Both men sprinted down the halls to Bethany's room. Cullen stopped short seeing a crazed blond woman with a small knife to Bethany's throat. "He dares… he dares bring another…." She was muttering crazily. "Anora" Alistair's voice hunched her shoulders. He walked up grabbing her by the shoulder and roughly pulled her away. Cullen saw the knife scratch across Bethany's neck and shook with anger at the droplet of blood that ran from it. "You bring another of your mage whores here?" Anora was shaking. Alistair grabbed the hand that clutched the knife and brought her wrist sharply down on a nearby table causing her to drop it with an exclamation of pain. "She is not a whore" Cullen's voice burst from him. "Oh she is your whore?" a twisted smirk crossed her face. Cullen stepped forward but Bethany's voice stilled him. "Remember who you are addressing my love" her words held warning. Alistair was still holding onto Anora's wrist her blood from the gash he had made dripping through his fingers. "Guards" he yelled. The two guards that had been hovering near the door came in ready to apprehend Cullen. "Take the Queen away" he ordered much to everyone's surprise. "She has gone mad. Lock her in the tower and send for the healer to attend to her wrist." He moved towards Bethany "I am sorry my dear. Anora has been on the brink of madness for some time." He offered no other explanation and nodding one final time in their directions returned to his rooms.

Mikkal appeared from seemingly nowhere and gleefully used his new staff to heal Bethany's neck. "I wonder if I should see if the Queen needs help" he said. "No Alistair has his own healer" Bethany shook her head. Mikkal inclined his head in disappointment and after saying good night returned to his rooms. "Well that was strange" Bethany said. "I was just sitting here when she came in going on about his unnatural love of mages" her words shook. "I have never felt so utterly helpless. I could have defended myself but to kill the Queen" she shook her head. "Perhaps we should see if Alistair is alright?" she looked questioningly at Cullen. He nodded in agreement and once again found himself walking towards Alistair's quarters. Their footsteps faltered as they heard a familiar voice and form standing with his back to them addressing Alistair. "Her wrist is fine but I am afraid there is not much I can do for her mind" he was saying. He turned at the sound of his name coming from Bethany's lips "Anders." Cullen placed his palm to his face, off all the people he thought.

"Hello Bethany, Cullen" he looked wary, remembering her threats. "Anders you are here? You have given him safety?" her last words were directed at Alistair. Alistair didn't answer just merely watched. "He is the one who blew up the Chantry. The one who caused the deaths of so many innocent mages" her voice trembled with pent up anger. "Yes I know" Alistair said mildly. "Tell me Bethany you do not forgive him?" She shook her head furiously "you did not see the children, ran through by the swords of Templars intent on wiping us from the city." She was glaring at Anders murder in her eyes. "Yes I know. I have given him the chance to atone for his actions" Alistair said his tone still calm. "You know I am the only man here that has not killed an innocent mage" Cullen's head jerked stung by his words. "Do not compare him to Cullen" Bethany cried. "Anders knew what he was doing whereas Cullen had no choice as to what entered his mind." Alistair sighed "Bethany he had no idea of what would happen. He was trying to help his friend." Bethany tugged at her hair and she remembered saying something similar when she had first heard of his plight so long ago. The hate and anger that she had held onto for so long seeped from her and she slumped against Cullen. "If he had not taken the actions he took we would still be locked in the Circle" Cullen pointed out softly, finally understanding why he had stopped her from killing him that night. "Everyone deserves forgiveness and a second chance Bethany." Anders who had been standing there quietly finally spoke "I truly regret what happened in Kirkwall. I had no idea the extent of Meredith's madness. Honestly I thought she would just have me executed. The thought that she would invoke the rite never occurred to me." Bethany stopped tugging on her hair "I apologise" she said to Alistair "I have no right to question the King." Alistair stretched it had been a long night "no need to apologise my dear. You are one of my subjects therefore you have every right to question me" he smiled his kind smile. She drew a deep breath "we are truly blessed to have such an understanding and merciful ruler" she smiled tiredly meaning every word.

Cullen and Bethany had returned to her room and were sitting on the bed quietly conversing. "I thought to never forgive him. But I see now that he truly had no idea the consequences of his actions. I once thought I loved him" her tone was soft. "Yes I know" Cullen said. Bethany's head jerked up "yes you said as much in Mantor. How did you know?" Cullen moved to a more comfortable position "Garrett let it slip the night before we parted ways" Cullen admitted. "At first I saw him as the monster you did. But I too see what his motivations were. All he wants is the same thing we do. Unless change is wanted by everyone it cannot be gentle" his words as usual made sense and she thought again about how lucky she was. They lay on the bed holding each other until they fell asleep. For the first time Cullen did not leave the room and she awoke happy to still be held in his arms.

They dressed leisurely and strolled to the dining room for breakfast. There was no haste as they had not yet determined their next course of action. They sat at the table joining Mikkal, Jony, Anders and Alistair. Alistair had Cailan on his knee and was trying to coax some food into him. The child was gurgling happily and Cullen felt a pang in his stomach wondering if he and Bethany would ever have the chance to settle down and raise a family.

Their quiet breakfast was interrupted by a messenger tearing in "Your Highness" his voice was high and breathless. "There is a Serah Hawke at the gates wishing entry. He is accompanied by a large group of Rivainians." Bethany's heart jumped with joy "Garrett he is alright." Alistair stood propping the child to his hip "allow them entry at once" he ordered. Bethany rushed with the messenger unable to wait for her brother to make his way to the castle. The gates were opened and all Garrett saw was a rush of black hair as he was almost knocked off his feet by his sister. They hurried back to the castle as he had much news.

23.

Garrett and Isabela looked exhausted but triumphant. They had convinced the Rivainians to their cause and had been allowed to take a group with them to travel to Ferelden. "The army of the Divine is marching here. The Rivanians are preparing and we will soon have more." Garrett announced. Alistair was pacing "still the Divine's army is strong and large. We will have trouble defeating them" he flexed his hands anxiously. The same messenger ran in "Your Highness there is a strange looking elf, he says he knows of Ser Hawke, he also has a group of people with him. As well there are some clans of the Dalish approaching." Bethany's head was whirling, how could they have possibly known. The looks on the others faces reflected much the same bafflement. More and more people flooded into the city and soon it was full to bursting. "Unboard the Chantry" Alistair ordered "we need room for these people." Guards rushed off and Bethany wondered why he had not allowed the refugees in the courtyard to use it. She didn't want to ask though as he had continued his pacing.

Bethany, Cullen and the others made their way out of the castle to meet with Fenris. After cries of delight at their reunion and the necessary introductions made they returned to the castle. They all had much to discuss. "How went your travels Fenris?" Garrett asked. "Very well, my task is done and I am now free to do as I please" his face split into an uncharacteristic grin. "But that is a story for another time." "Who are the people with you?" Isabela enquired. "Ex-slaves" he said another grin appearing.

The messenger came again "Your Highness a leader of the Dalish wishes to speak with you." Alistair stood "please excuse me" he said disappearing through the door. The others shrugged "I suppose we will find out in due time" Cullen stated. Jony and Mikkal were sitting to the side of the room feeling somewhat left out by the robust reunion. Seeing this Bethany drew them over quickly making them feel part of the group. Alistair's Uncle Teagan had returned pleased that he could announce the support of the Bannorn. Soon after, a hushed excitement spread through the City quickly becoming near hysteria. "The Hero has returned. The Hero has returned" the town crier boomed almost falling over in his haste to spread the news. Bethany's head was whirling, in the morning nothing had been happening and now so much was. She was having trouble taking it all in. Seeing the others deep in conversation with each other she slipped away returning to the quiet of her room and sat by the window worried about what the next few days would bring.

"Life is strange isn't it?" the question took Bethany by surprise as she hadn't heard Kira come in. "I guess, but I have the feeling that you are referring to something specific" Bethany replied. "So many people that I know all coming together to fight a battle we are not even sure will happen. The world is very small and seems to be getting smaller" Kira laughed gently. "When I first was free of the Circle I was amazed at how big the world was. But time changes much, particularly our perspectives." Bethany nodded her agreement "I never appreciated my liberty and what the world had to offer until I was imprisoned in the Circle in Kirkwall. I will always appreciate the freedoms I have now. Mother and Father always told me how I was lucky but with running from town to village trying to avoid the Templars I never truly felt that I was really free." Kira regarded her cousin thoughtfully "I see what you mean. We need to win this war, mages will continue to be born and we must ensure that they can enjoy the simple things of life and that they don't have to endure the hard ships that we did." She paused taking a deep breath "I never knew my family as I was taken away when I was very young. I don't even know if my parents live. I have been trying to find them with no success." Bethany leaned forward clasping Kira's hands in hers "I am sorry. I have lost my parents and my twin brother and though I miss them I recognise how lucky I was to have known them." Kira squeezed Bethany's hands in return "well you have your brother and now a cousin and I have two cousins. The Maker must surely be smiling on us." She smiled again and after embracing her newly found cousin she left to see if Alistair's talks with the Dalish had been completed.

Cullen looked around the room and seeing that Bethany was not there went in search of her thinking it strange that she was not taking the opportunity to spend time with her brother. As he wandered up to her room he was surprised to see Kira emerge. He smiled walking hastily past "Greetings Hero" he said bowing slightly . She stepped in to his path a smirk curving her lips "oh Cullen there is no need to be so formal. We were almost intimate once." "You were almost intimate?" Bethany was not amused. "Yes he was tasked to kill me had I not passed my Harrowing. I would say that's fairly intimate wouldn't you?" Kira walked off chortling playfully. Cullen rubbed his hands across his eyes "I see that a sense of humour runs in the family." He walked behind Bethany as she returned to her room concerned at the gloomy look on her face. "Why do you look so down?" he cupped her face in his hands searching her eyes for a clue as to what was causing her lacklustre mood. She sighed pushing his hands away making him frown. Had he upset her? No he couldn't think of anything he may have done. She sat at the chair by the window curling her legs up under her worriedly pulling at her lip. He sat at her feet resting his head on her lap entwining his fingers with hers waiting for her to speak. "I am just worried about what the next few days will bring. The Divine's army coming, so few allies, we could all be dead in a few days." Cullen thought on this "you have fought seemingly hopeless battles before. I'm sorry I don't understand." She rubbed the thumb of her free hand across his brow "they were battles that were thrust upon me. I had no time to worry." He stood and pulled her to her feet "it is needless to worry about what you cannot change. Come on join me with the others, if we are all about to die we should enjoy what time we have left." She nuzzled his neck "as always you are right. Alright let's go and I don't know get drunk or something." He pushed her out the door swatting her playfully on the bottom.

More people flooded through the gates of Ferelden. Alistair becoming sick of having messengers come to him announcing everyone decreed that all except the Divine could enter. His Guard Captain Darryn was aghast at the news "but Your Majesty they could send spies in." Alistair flapped his hand at him "then you stand there and approve everyone" Darryn took his point and quieted his protestations.

Bethany had been as good as her word and gotten stinking drunk taking Cullen along for the ride with her. She woke up the next day moaning painfully as the sun bore into her eyes. Pulling the covers over her head she heard Cullen groan next to her. "Maker I feel terrible" she said her throat feeling rough. "Is this a hang over? People keep drinking after they feel like this?" she was feeling thoroughly sorry for herself. "Hush love" Cullen whispered painfully. Sitting up he winced as his head threatened to explode. "Let us go and see Anders he may have a cure." They dragged themselves out of bed and headed to the infirmary. Anders watched the bedraggled pair come in and chuckled at their pained state. Clapping a heavy hand to Cullen's back he boomed "well you two look a little worse for wear." Cullen grimaced at the bile that had risen to his mouth. "Please Anders lower your voice" Bethany begged. "You know I am tempted to make you both suffer." "Why?" Cullen was dumbfounded that he would let them agonise like this. "Because Justice won't let me drink anymore" he said illogically. "So you are jealous that we get to feel like this and you don't?" Bethany was still whispering. "Oh I never got hangovers." "Maker Anders you are making no sense" Cullen was still trying to control the roiling of his stomach. Anders pushed two black potions into their hands "take this. It will cure what ails you." The pair looked at the evil looking liquid doubtfully. "Drink" Anders commanded and being unable to argue they did. The grimaced at its taste but it did the trick and in a few seconds they felt their heads returning to normal and were vowing to never drink again. "Famous last words" Anders laughed having heard it many times before.

Cullen sat in a nearby chair "where did you disappear to yesterday? We were looking for you. We wanted to have a sing a long." Bethany shook her head at the memory. "Well thank the Maker I left then" Anders remarked stretching his long legs in front of him. "Ugh we made the biggest fools of ourselves" some of the previous nights memories were returning. Cullen vaguely remembered Isabela and Alistair reminiscing about the time they met at The Pearl. He rubbed the back of his neck wondering if what they said had happened with them and Kira were true. Deciding he didn't really want to know he returned to his original question "so why did you disappear?" Anders moved his shoulders "Fenris" he said simply. They nodded their understanding as Fenris had been none too pleased when he had discovered that Anders was there. "It's funny how he holds what you did against you but never batted an eyelid when he found out I had done" Cullen stated. "Mages lives are worth less in some people's eyes" Bethany supplied the answer. "He will keep his opinions to himself from now on I daresay" Cullen was thinking about how Alistair had pulled Fenris aside and had given him a talking to. They were suddenly very hungry so they went off in search of food dragging Anders with them. He was smiling broadly happy to have attained their forgiveness.

They went to the dining room and were absolutely flabbergasted to see Varric, Aveline and Donnic. Seeing Anders hesitate Bethany grabbed him by the arm and guided him firmly in. Sitting down they heaped up their plates and proceeded to catch up on everyone's adventures. Fenris was sitting there glowering at Anders but Anders was too excited at seeing Varric again and ignored him or didn't notice. After they settled back down there was much laughter and derision at Bethany and Cullen's drunken behaviour the night before. "You should have seen them earlier" Anders snickered "they looked like the Maker Himself had chewed them up and spat them out." Mikkal chuckled "you should have seen Bethany last night Anders she was on the table doing some sort of strange jig." "And then Cullen started doing shots off Isabela's stomach" Jony spluttered nearly falling out of his chair with laughter. Everyone burst out laughing remembering the odd displays. Bethany and Cullen ducked their heads concentrating on their food. "I wish I had been here to see that" Varric announced heartily with Aveline and Donnic nodding in agreement. "I wonder where Merrill is? We have hardly seen her" Isabela was looking at the door expectantly as if hoping she would materialise there. "She is probably busy with her clan" Garrett pointed out "she her own responsibilities now."

Fenris had not spoken as his elation at being reunited with his family had burst at seeing Anders and was angry that they were accepting him back as if nothing had happened. He stood abruptly and stalked out. They watched him leave and looked perplexedly at each other. Cullen stood and deciding to risk having his heart ripped out went after him. He found Fenris in the garden pacing angrily up and down "you are angry with Anders still?" Cullen stood with his hands in his pockets watching him. "I am surprised you are not" he growled. "Why would I be? I have been forgiven by so many so surely I should extend the same to others." Fenris' pacing grew more frenetic "but he blew up the Chantry, many were killed wrongly because of his actions." Cullen sighed deeply "and I have wrongly killed many. And what of your fog warriors? Did you not kill them wrongly?" Fenris stopped his eyes flashing green fire. "You dare…" Cullen pushed his hands in front of him in a placating gesture "Fenris I am not judging you. I am merely pointing out that Anders is not the only one of us who has done something to be ashamed of." "He knew what he was doing Cullen. He willingly took a spirit inside of him." Cullen nodded "yes but he had no idea of the outcome. Yes what he did was stupid but his intentions were good. We can't always see what will happen in the future." Cullen sighed again his headache was returning. "You killed a group of people that were willing to die for your freedom. You had been free for some months. You were a free man and you could have remained that way but instead you chose to slay them. No don't shake your head at me Fenris, you chose what you did. You can blame Danarius all you like but in the end you chose." On that Cullen spun around and returned to the others. He didn't know if he had changed anything but he felt that it was something that needed to be said. He was heartened to see Fenris slink back in a thoughtful look now replacing the scowl.

They were summoned to Alistair's office as he had much to tell them. "The army of the Divine has amassed some distance from the cities walls. They have not tried to approach us but will, of course, in due time so we must be prepared." He looked at the assembled group gravely "This will be a hard battle and luckily we have had some luck in gaining allies but our chances of success are still low." He stopped speaking surveying them to see if they were taking in what he said. "Now I have plans for all of you. Cullen you will lead a group of our warriors with Jony as your second" he smiled at Jony's beam of joy at being entrusted with such a prestigious position. "Bethany you will need to gather as many mages as you can and see where their strengths lay" she nodded her understanding. "Varric you will lead a platoon of archers" Varric patted Bianca reassuringly. "Aveline and Donnic, you came with many of the old guard of Kirkwall?" They nodded "I will leave you to get them ready." "Yes Alistair" they both said hesitantly still finding it strange to address the King as such. "Mikkal I want you to go with Anders and help him to organise the best way of keeping everyone healed. Oh Bethany if you come across any mages who are good healers please direct them to the infirmary. Garrett and Isabela you will work with and be the liaison between us and the Rivainians, same as you Merrill except with the Dalish of course. Fenris go and see Guard Captain Darryn he will tell you what he requires of you." He placed his hands behind his head and satisfied that he had told them all he needed to he sent them on their way.

Activity filled the city as guards went from door to door recruiting as many people as they could to join the upcoming battle and warning others who couldn't fight to prepare or flee. Many of the refugees that had been in the marketplace when Bethany and the others had arrived had been moved into empty houses or had been taken in by kind hearted citizens. The elves from the alienage had taken in the Dalish and some pledged to fight with their brethren while others joined the King's army. Alistair had afforded them all the freedoms that the other citizens had so they were keen to show their loyalty. Noble's armies were making camps outside the city's walls preparing to defend their King. Finally a messenger ran to the castle with news from the gates "Your Highness emissaries of the Divine wish to speak with you" he stood catching his breath waiting for a reply. "Tell the Guard Captain to only allow two entry and to ensure that they are unarmed and escorted." The messenger ran off to do as he was bid.

Leliana and Cassandra walked with the guards having unsuccessfully argued to keep their weapons. They had eventually agreed seeing no other way and were unhappily astounded to see the amount of people that had amassed to keep mages free. Alistair and Kira watched from the window in his office not receiving them until the others had returned. Kira was the first to speak "Hello Leliana it has been some time." Leliana looked at her old friend regret colouring her face that they were now on opposite sides. She was shocked to see the old Knight Captain there, no-one had seemed to know what had happened to him and she had assumed he had gone rogue to hunt mages. "Let us speak" Cassandra said "we do not desire war and it can be avoided with one or two simple concessions being made." Alistair regarded her suspiciously "and those concessions would be?" "You must re-instate both the Chantry and Circle. This will show that the sort of behaviour that has poisoned our lands cannot be tolerated." Alistair started to laugh, utterly astonished with their demands. "Surely you jest? I will do neither of those things. With the Maker as my witness I will see mages free and the Chantry reformed as the Maker intended." Leliana placed her hands on her hips "surely Alistair…" "You will refer to be my title" he boomed angrily. "We were once friends Leliana but now we are not. You betrayed us." She stepped back hurt by his words. "Your Majesty" she began again "surely you can see that allowing mages freedom is against the Maker?" He laughed condescendingly "do not spout the corrupt rubbish of the Chantry. I… we believe" he spread his arm to encompass all of them "that the Maker wishes everyone to be free, to be equal in His eyes. We are all His children and you and your ilk offend Him." Kira spoke again "Leliana we travelled together and became close friends. Do you really believe that I should have been locked up once the blight had been defeated?" Leliana looked at her one time friend "yes. Mages are dangerous and they will turn to the lure of blood magic and demons if we allow them too many liberties." Bethany snorted "rubbish, mages only turn to blood magic and such because they have no control over their lives. There are many mages here and I have not seen any blood magic or abominations." Cassandra had been listening but could not hold her tongue any longer "and what of Tevinter? Their mages watch their own and to them blood magic is almost expected." Fenris surprised everyone by speaking up "that is their culture. They have never agreed with the view of the Divine. The people here believe blood magic to be evil and as such will still be taboo." Cassandra made an exasperated noise "I see none of you will see sense. We can avoid this unnecessary slaughter. But if you wish for battle then you shall have it. Come Leliana we must prepare." Leliana followed with a last regretful look at her old friends.

Luckily many of the Divine's soldiers had fallen in the many battles they had encountered in their travels and the ones that had been left in Val Royeaux to defend the city had been all but defeated by their own citizens sick of the fear and hate that they forced upon them. Some Templars had joined them desperate for guidance and others that were still faithful to the teachings of the Chantry, but times had changed and as such their numbers were few.

News of the upcoming battle had spread and more and more people came to Denerim prepared to fight for their beliefs. Words that had previously only been fearful mutterings became rallying calls of their movement and the revolution was in full swing. Alistair, much to the dismay of Darryn, jumped onto a makeshift podium that had been erected in the square ready to rally the people for battle. All activity stopped and many gathered eager to hear his words. "Brave people of Thedas, I am not King to all of you but yet you have gathered to fight for a worthy cause. Many have already fallen to the weapons held by the ignorant and many more will." He raised his hands to quell the murmurs of fear "but know this, no-one's death will be in vain and as the dust of battle settles we will know that we are victorious." Bellowing cheers rang out from the crowd and people embraced those around them wishing them good luck. The earth trembled beneath their feet as the army of the Divine marched towards them and they all knew it had begun.

24.

Bethany and Cullen had managed to steal some time alone before the battle. They clung to each other painfully aware that this may be the last time they may see the other alive. After affirming their love to each other they regretfully broke apart to fulfil their part of the battle. Cullen and his troops were at the front lines, the enemy archers let forth a volley of flaming arrows which they deflected easily by holding their shields above their heads. Not giving them time to reload he yelled for them to attack. The sounds of heavily armoured boots pounding on the ground followed by the noise of metal hitting metal rang through the air. The battle was fierce and furious and soon many bloodied bodies of both sides littered the ground. Fires burned brightly choking the air with smoke and screams of pain or triumph echoed through the city. Cullen and his men had cut down the first lot of soldiers easily and were working hard to not let any enemies through. But as his men became fewer he yelled at them to pull back, goading the enemy to follow. They responded thinking that they had the upper hand only to feel the burn of arrows. Knowing that they would expect the archers to launch their attack first he had convinced Varric to get them to release their arrows when least expected. His plan worked and many of the enemy fell to the archers skills. He could hear the sounds of battle all around him and knew that Alistair had been right when he had said that they would launch attacks from different directions.

Bethany was working just as hard. She had assigned the mages to different groups to back them up. She had chosen not to be with Cullen afraid that her bias would cause her to favour him and to let others fall. Once upon a time she would not have cared but this was too important to let personal feelings get in the way. She cast spell after spell throwing attackers away from the backs of the soldiers she was fighting with, relieved to see Kira appear next to her. As is the way of massive battles all semblance of organisation was soon gone and she found that they had all gravitated together and were fighting side by side as they had done so many times before. Fenris was a blue silhouette as he danced around ripping people's hearts out left right and centre. Merrill was blasting people back before zeroing in for the kill. Isabela and Garrett were doing their best to keep fighters off balance their sharp daggers slicing through unsuspecting backs. Anders and Mikkal were alternating between healing and fighting, both chugging lyrium potions as their mana grew low. Aveline, Donnic and Alistair were fighting side by side using their shields to stun before plunging their swords through hard armour seeking soft flesh. Varric and Bianca were making sweet music and he bellowed triumphantly every time an arrow hit its mark. Cullen and Jony joined them and were cleaving their swords through soldiers sweat sliding down their faces.

The battle raged furiously for many hours and just when it seemed it would never end Cassandra, Leliana and the remnants of the Divine's army were encircled. Seeing that they had lost they lay down their arms and knelt before the victors pleading for mercy. They were taken into custody and locked into holding cells. Cullen peered around him looking for Bethany and was alarmed to not see her. He moved away from his celebrating peers anxiously scanning bodies on the ground. He moaned as he saw her familiar form lying lifeless on the ground covered in blood.

Bethany had found herself surrounded and cut off from the rest. A soldier had pummelled her with his shield taking her breath away. Fenris had jumped in virtually slicing him in two but he had moved away so quickly that he hadn't seen her fall. Her stomach had screamed blue murder and blood had started oozing down her legs.

Cullen fell to her side screaming for Mikkal. Mikkal ran to them, he performed a diagnostic spell that Anders had taught him a look of surprise creasing his features. "She still lives" he said "quickly help me get her up and we will take her to the infirmary." Cullen gently gathered her in his arms and ran behind Mikkal trying to not let his tears blind him. Anders was already there tending to the wounded and quickly readied a spare room. Cullen laid her on the bed and to his severe annoyance was pushed out of the door by the two men. Ignoring his demands to be allowed to stay they shut the door in his face. They all gathered together a uniform look of worry marring their features. Cullen and Garrett paced like furious caged animals and no amount of pleading for them to calm down could settle them. After what seemed like hours Anders came to the door finally allowing Cullen entry. Garrett just about howled with rage when he was told to stay where he was.

Cullen breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Bethany propped up on pillows. She looked as white as a sheet but she was alive. He sat next to her gently taking her hand in his and was alarmed to see big tears rolling down her face. "What is it my love? Are you in pain?" he whispered. She squeezed his hand "I'm sorry, oh Cullen I'm so sorry. I didn't know please forgive me." He looked at her in confusion having no idea what she could possibly be sorry for. She struggled to compose herself "I lost our child Cullen. I was pregnant and now it is gone. I am so sorry." She tried to take her hand mistaking his silence for anger, but he clutched it even harder. Anders spoke up "there is no permanent damage. She should be able to conceive again." Cullen nodded taking it all in "Bethany, I don't care. Having children with you would be wonderful but it is not the reason I am with you. I love you and even if you couldn't conceive again I would be happy just knowing that I have the chance to grow old with you." This caused her to cry even harder and he moved gently on to the bed with her holding her close. After the sedative that Anders had given her took effect he slipped out of the room to tell the others what happened. Relieved that she was going to be alright they retired to their rooms, utterly exhausted as Cullen returned to Bethany's side.

Epilogue

It was many months later and Cullen was standing pulling nervously at the high uncomfortable collar he was wearing. Mikkal leaned over and slapped his hand away "you can take it off soon enough Cullen. Leave it be." All eyes turned to the door as soft romantic music began to play and Bethany walked through looking radiant in a long cream gown, her black hair caught up in a bun with soft curled tendrils framing her face. Cullen caught his breath at her beauty. Her hand was tucked firmly in the crook of Garrett's arm as he walked next to her beaming proudly. She took her place next to Cullen as the priest of the new Chantry began the rite of marriage. "You may kiss your bride" he finished the ceremony beaming at the new couple. They kissed and Alistair stood "let the festivities begin" he yelled.

They were dancing when Bethany whispered "Cullen I have something to tell you." He rubbed his face against her hair "mmm?" She leaned forwards and murmured into his ear. He let out a whoop of joy making everyone stop and stare. "I'm going to be a father. I'm going to be a father. I'm going to…" "yeah, yeah we get it" Garrett said his face nearly split in two. Everyone leapt up to congratulate them but Cullen hardly took it in. His mind was still repeating the words over and over again.


End file.
